Lost my Hope and don't know where to go from here

by Rusuko
(California)

Lost my husband...lost my hope and dreams and vision. I can't express the ache in my body, heart, and the clatter in my brain that says "I didn't pray hard enough". I can't really talk about it yet. Maybe I'll try writing another day. I wish things were different. I don't know how to accept that some things are just out of our hands.

Comments for Lost my Hope and don't know where to go from here

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Jun 16, 2010
Just do it in your time
by: Susie

So sorry for your loss, I lost my husband on Thanksgiving and I too am arguing with my "IF I's" and find it hard. But I keep turning it over to God and it helps, but time, they say heals all. Well I am just taking one day at a time and the hardest is at 4am (my crying time). So just do what feels right for you and I will remember you in my prayers. I spray his cologne on his pillow at night and it makes me feel as if he is there. Just do what you feel and may God watch over you.

Jun 07, 2010
MY BELOVED HUSBAND
by: LARRAINE

ON MOTHER'S DAY, MAY 9TH, MY BELOVED ANTHONY
PASSED AWAY SUDDENLY IN MY ARMS AT HOME FROM
A STROKE/HEART ATTACK. WE SPOKE THAT MORNING
AT 7;00AM AND HE WENT BACK TO SLEEP AND SAID
WAKE ME UP AT 9am' I FELL ASLEEP AND AWOKE AND
HEARD HIM GASPING FOR AIR AND TRIED TO HELP
HIM, BUT IT WAS TOO LATE AND HE LEFT ME. TOGETHER
SINCE WE WERE 15 YEARS OLD, MARRIED 42 YEARS,
NO CHILDREN, BELONGED TO EACH OTHER ONLY.
MISS HIM SO MUCH, THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE
AND RAW, CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM AND
ALL WE HAD. NOW I HAVE NOTHING, I AM LOST.

Jun 06, 2010
Nothing but time...
by: Debbie Hester

Time- a lot of time and praying. Yelling at God, crying, arguing, cursing, pleading, crying some more, then after a lot more time SOME acceptance. Death is the hardest thing we ever have to deal with because it is so final; but it does get easier to get through with TIME. I will never ever get over my loss but I am getting through it with time. It's been a little over a year now and I still cry every day, but it has gotten better. I will keep you in my prayers.

Jun 06, 2010
Sorry
by: Mary

I am sorry for your suffering. I felt your pain as I read your words. Losing the love of my life after 7 years together was the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me. I too felt like perhaps I didn't pray hard enough...didn't do enough to save him! Accepting that he is really gone has been the most bitter battle for me. I feel as though I wrestled with God for months!! However...it is totally necessary. Allow yourself whatever you need in the time you need it!

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