lost my husband while on vacation

by liz prins
(south africa)


I am in my 3rd month since my husbands passing, he died 6th january 2012 in USA. My husband Randall of 25 years together for 27 (age 44) i am 43,We are from South Africa and have 3 daughters age 25, 18 and 14. Our eldest lives in the USA is married and was expecting her first baby the 7th December 2011. Our first grandson. We left for the USA 1st Dec 2011 and our beautiful grandson Jacob was born 7th December 2011. A month went by with us spending wonderful bonding time with our 3 daughters, son-in-law and new baby Jacob. Suddenly 6th January 2012 my husband had a massive heart attack i was standing next to him and having a lovely conversation when he collapsed he died immediately, it was like living in a nightmare, We had an autopsy done, had to have him cremated had to have many paperwork done, I returned back to South Africa with my two younger daughters and a box of ashes (my husbands remains) that was the longest 30hr flight of my life, i wanted to jump out of the plane, Back home in South Africa i am a mess, there is too much to do, i cannot sleep, eat or function. We have our own company and i have to run it all by myself. I am devastated this was not suppose to happen, we went to visit our children overseas to witness the birth of our grandson, we were suppose to grow old together and witness many more births.For me to it seems like many years had passed. Some days i do better and other days it feels like he has just passed away. I am very lonely i miss him so very much.

Comments for lost my husband while on vacation

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Nov 01, 2012
so sorry for your Loss
by: Anonymous

I Too Lost my Beloved Husband David just 3 weeks Ago, Heart Attack found him on Our kitchen Floor he had already passed, I'm still in shock, can't believe it, although i know it's real can't see my way forward without him, we were Married for 46 years, and i feel so empty

Apr 11, 2012
Traumatized
by: grieving

my husband of 23 years was killed in a horrific motorcycle accident 48 days ago. I am reeling from shock and grief. We have 2 beautiful children who will graduate from college without him there, marry and raise children without him sharing in their joy. I am angry his life was cut short by someone who turned in front of him. I am angry the authorities are reluctant to find the careless driver "at fault" because it will be considered a criminal offense. I am alone and can't describe my overwhelming grief to anyone! Friends and family try to offer support but what I long for is normalcy....to return to feeling joy, peace, and contentment. When I read that people are still suffering years later, I am traumatized! I can't imagine feeling like this for years! I miss him so much my heart aches and it seems to get worse everyday. I pray for all of you....that you find peace and comfort in the memory of your loved ones. Please pray for me as well. God knows we all need it!

Mar 27, 2012
feeling your pain
by: Anonymous

Dear Liz, So sorry for your loss. I lost my husband about six months ago, and am still on this roller coaster called grief. The pain is so awful because we not only lost our husbands, but also the lives we knew. As time goes on I find that I have more days that are not quite so bad. My friends and family have been quite supportive. The support we give each other on this website has also helped a lot. Wishing you well. Be kind to yourself. Joanne, Chicago

Mar 27, 2012
Quiet Messages
by: Anonymous

Dear Liz,

I cannot imagine losing your hsband in the way that you did. So many things come to my mind. The way I lost my husband 18 mnths ago is similar, but I think perhaps not as tragic. My husband and I had just returned from vacation. We had driven half way across the country and home again in 12 days. We had a purpose - to bring home things from my mother's house that we'd been meaning to do for 2 years, since she had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We were back at home for just a month when he suddenly collapsed onto the floor at work due to sudden cardiac arrest. He, too, was in the middle of a great conversation with a co-worker just before he was leaving to come home for a long weekend. My 2 adult children and I were shocked and devastated. I couldn't understand how one could be so happy and healthy then just be gone. Our 2 year-old grandson was suddenly without his grandfather - they were inseparable. It has now been 18 months and our lives have moved on, but not a day goes by when I don't try to figure out how to be Grandma without a Grandpa - - how to be and do so much without him. He was my best friend in the whole world and I still miss him terribly every day! I am grateful that we had what we had, that we were able to witness our grandson come into this world and had 2 wonderfully amazing years together with him. I am grateful we got to see our daughter through her college graduation and our son through his wedding. I am grateful that we had that last vacation and accomplished what we'd set out to do, and to see family. I am grateful that we had 30 incredible years together even though it could never have been enough! There were many small things, little nuances, little, unheard messages in the weeks and months before he died that I didn't pay close enough attention to. I couldn't recognize them until after he was gone, but it has given me peace and some understanding that it was just time for him to go. I had to accept that, or be in denial and depressed for a much longer time than I was. You nd your husband had your vacation, your daughters all toghether, and welcomed new life into your family. There was a reason all those wonderful things fell into place when they did. Let yourself grieve, let yourself feel everything that you need to feel. It will all sort itself out when it is ready to be sorted out. I wish you peace and acceptance, and a wonderful life with your brand new grandson.

Mar 26, 2012
with you in your grief
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry about your loss. I am also grieving the sudden passing of my beloved brother. I will be praying for you and your family.
Sincerely,
mbell

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