Lost my little sister and still can`t believe it
Hi I lost my 27 year old sister 5 weeks ago. I am 2.5 years older and always defined me as an older sister. We had such a special bond that people would feel constantly left out as we spoke our own language and had our own jokes. She was battling for many years with depressions, eating disorders and pill addiction. I developed a strong co-dependancy and this is also an additional source of pain now for me. She came to visit me and my parents in our hometown and seemed much better. We all where very cheerful and hoped her life is going in the right direction. She drowned in the bath becuase she either fell asleep or had heart failure it was not even an overdose or any horrible death we always feared it was a real exitend which makes it in a weird way even harder as I feel like she was stolen from me. For sure she would have had a stronger body without the damage she did to it over the years. I find it very hard to come to terms with the fact that god took her from me instead of making her healthy and letting her be the beautiful, funny, amazing sister I loved so much in my life. It's hard becuase I feel no drive for my own life anymore I don't care at all if my life will be happy and joyous or stays as painful as it is as she is not with me anyways. We are jews and belief in a rightous god and all my rabbis say she had to go because she fullfilled her mission but what is if I will never see her again ?