Lost my little sister and still can`t believe it

by Fröcke

Hi I lost my 27 year old sister 5 weeks ago. I am 2.5 years older and always defined me as an older sister. We had such a special bond that people would feel constantly left out as we spoke our own language and had our own jokes. She was battling for many years with depressions, eating disorders and pill addiction. I developed a strong co-dependancy and this is also an additional source of pain now for me. She came to visit me and my parents in our hometown and seemed much better. We all where very cheerful and hoped her life is going in the right direction. She drowned in the bath becuase she either fell asleep or had heart failure it was not even an overdose or any horrible death we always feared it was a real exitend which makes it in a weird way even harder as I feel like she was stolen from me. For sure she would have had a stronger body without the damage she did to it over the years. I find it very hard to come to terms with the fact that god took her from me instead of making her healthy and letting her be the beautiful, funny, amazing sister I loved so much in my life. It's hard becuase I feel no drive for my own life anymore I don't care at all if my life will be happy and joyous or stays as painful as it is as she is not with me anyways. We are jews and belief in a rightous god and all my rabbis say she had to go because she fullfilled her mission but what is if I will never see her again ?

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Jul 08, 2014
Lost my little sister and still can't believe it
by: Doreen UK

Frocke I am so sorry for your loss of your older sister to a sudden death. We all feel the way you do now in the weeks after losing a close family member. It is far too early for you to be feeling anything else but deep sorrow and grief. This is your close sibling you lost. Like two peas in a pod. It will take you a long time to recover from your loss of your sister, but in time you will feel different. After losing my husband 2yrs. ago to a long battle with cancer I could not function for 6 months and I could do nothing. I hated life and wanted to die. I lost my motivation to do anything for 6 solid months. I still lose my motivation every now and then. You need to start building yourself up by nurturing yourself back into life. Do one special thing for yourself each day, every day till it becomes a way of life. This way you will be building yourself up. Healing from grief is a slow process and takes time. But your world will change in time. I felt so distressed I thought I would feel that bad FOREVER. When life started changing after 6 months I then regretted all the things I gave away that I needed. I felt as if my life had ended at that point. I saw no future. No change. But life does get better. I know it is easy to blame God when bad things happen because we know God is all powerful and can save us. But God does not interfere with the choices and decisions we make. Despite God often rescuing us from bad choices and decisions. But for the most part we reap the consequences of the choices and decisions we make. Living with the consequences is hard. e.g. By smoking one is vulnerable to getting lung cancer. Taking drugs one destroys their body and immune system. Oh how we wish we could rescue our loved one from the decisions they make. I have 5 siblings and I would be crushed to lose any one of them despite having our differences and not getting on at times. Life is what it is. But the HOPE is that believing in God we can hope we will be reunited with our loved ones again.

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