Lost my mom 3 months before finding out I was pregnant.

by Ashley
(CA )

I miss my mom so much. She was such a beautiful woman. She was weak. She took abuse from my father and her mother. I never really hurt or disappointed her. I have no regrets with how I treated her. I loved her. On July 29th 2012 I received a phone call at 5:15 am from my father. He asked how i was doing and said I am fine whats wrong its 5am. He said I dont know how to tell you this, I though he said he was divorcing her and then he said Ashley your mother is gone. I began to cry and ask if anyone was with him and he said no. I began to call relatives and friends to go comfort him. He abused her until I was 19. Then he learned his lesson. She died when I was 22 years old. I asked if there was anything he need for me to do. He said I need you to stay home and tell your sister. My sister and MY husband work graveyard. My sister was to be home at 6:30am. I texted her and said I need to talk to you please come home. She said I am giving some people a ride and I said no come home. I called my husband and just started crying and then he started crying. He lost his father 7months ago to a heart attack. We have not even been married a year. I called my cousin who came over so we can tell my sister our mom died. She walked in and said whats up what you wanna say. She saw the back of my cousin and said who is that. My cousin turned around and I walked up to my sister with tears running down my face and said Mom died. She screamed for 5 minutes while my cousin and I just held her. We stayed at the apartment for 45 minutes before going to my fathers. When we arrived at my dads everyone was already there. The pastors and close friends and relatives. My dad was crying. I never seen a man cry so much. He would talk and then just sob. My husband got off at 8am and was at my parents house by 820. He walked in and I cried in his arms like it was the first time i ever let someone see my heart completely broken. My dad walked up to him and said how are you doing and my husband hugged him and my father just cried. We had a beautiful service for her.

My mother had alchol problems and did prescription drugs. She had a broken back partially from the car accident and partially from my dad stepping on her. We really had no idea why or how she died. 5 almost 6 months went buy and we found out crystal meth was in her system. She overdosed. That night she died my father was out of town for the week camping and he came home early on saturday, My mother said she wasnt feeling well and went to bed early. My father slept on the couch. It was not unusual for him to sleep on the couch during the summer when its hot or when my mom is not feeling well. He said he checked on her ever couple hours and at 430 He found her dead. He didnt know what to do so he called my aunt and uncle and then he called the police.

MY father loved her alot. On November 8th, I found out i was 7 weeks pregnant. My daughter is due June 27th. Almost a month before my mothers 1 year. I miss my mom so much. I just want her to be here. She wanted to be a grandma so bad. She would of been a great grandma. It sucks being 23 and pregnant and your mother being dead.

I love you Mama

Comments for Lost my mom 3 months before finding out I was pregnant.

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Mar 20, 2013
Lost my mom 3 months before finding out I was pregnant
by: Doreen U.K.

Ashley I am sorry for your loss of your mom to a sudden death. You need to try and keep a calm mind whilst you are pregnant. Perhaps talking to a grief counsellor will give you the time and space to recover from your loss in a gentle way whilst carrying your baby daughter.
This is the hard part of losing a loved one and they are not around for that child and all the joy it brings.
I am facing this with the loss of my husband of 44yrs who died 10 months ago of cancer. He has 2 beautiful baby grandchildren 2yrs. and 4yrs. and he is not here to see them grow up or have any interaction in their lives. This hurts me so much.
I am happy to know from your post that your father perhaps got past abusing your mother and that his life turned around to loving her. His tears says He loved her. Who knows why some men behave the way they do. Perhaps learned behaviour? Your mom may have turned to alcohol and drugs at this time to numb her pain. Who knows why some people choose a lifestyle that is a danger to their body and can limit their life. Your mom will have encouraged you in your life with the words of how you were loved and what you meant to her. That will never die. You will have to let this memory tape play all the time. You will have a great part of your mom living in you and you will emulate this love in your life. Again Positive learned behaviour. It will take time for your grief to heal and you will get your life back. Don't let this grief cause problems in your marriage or as a mom. Get grief counselling as this will help turn the tide of grief and you will feel the benefit throughout your life.
I wish you the best in life. Best wishes for a safe delivery of your baby daughter and may you be blessed with the richest joys of motherhood.

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