Lost my mom at 15

by Madison

I am only 15 and I lost my mom exactly 2 months ago. June 6th, 2014. I am up writing this on this site because I cannot sleep and I've just been up crying on and off. She passed unexpectedly due to an un-foreseen ruptured blood vessel and bled to death peacefully in her sleep. I awoke to my brother screaming crying telling me that "Moms dead" around 6 a.m. I just remember having my hand over my mouth in such complete shock that I couldn't believe my own eyes. My dad was sobbing, sitting on the bed next to her on the phone with 911. I kept pacing back and forth hoping she'd wake up and this would all be a dream. My mom and I had a great relationship, typical arguments here and there but what mom and their teen daughter didn't? I am so completely devestated and I feel so hopeless and just empty. If you're reading this I am sure you know how painful it is to lose your mother. I have spoke to a counselor 2 times already and I feel a little better. Even when you have so many people there for you, not having your mother can make you feel like you're alone. She was my back bone and I feel that I'm at such a vulnerable age and this is the time I needed her the most. She was my best friend.

Comments for Lost my mom at 15

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Dec 11, 2014
Losing my Mom at age 15.
by: Doreen UK

Nour I am so sorry for your loss of your Mom at age of 15yrs, when you are so young and still need nurturing in your young teen to Adult years.
This is such a difficult time in life for someone to lose a mother.
Don't be bullied into taking full care of your father. He is Old enough and Mature enough to not leave you with an emotional burden of care. This can happen if you let it.
Your caring for your father should be based on that of a Child to its father, and caring for his needs seeing he has good proper food, and that when he is sick you care for him. But emotionally you will find it hard to feel responsible for your father in this way. Your care should have boundaries.
I am talking from experience and know how damaging it can be for a 15yrs. old girl to have to carry too much responsibility for the family without support.
You can speak to a counselor for support if you feel this will help you cope better and move forward. There is no easy way to cope with grief but to TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME.
This is how I coped and now moving forward better. Please don't keep your grief inside of you. Talking will help you heal. You can also keep a journal and write down all your feelings and even talk in letter form to your mother in your journal as if she could understand. You will start to feel better. Your aunt may be a good support to you. Crying is good grief so don't be afraid to cry. You will always feel better after a good cry. The LONELINESS is one of the biggest problems to get over. Life does get easier in time, even though it doesn't feel like it at the moment. You will eventually get your life back and be able to move forward. Don't give up! Be happy, and successful in life.

Dec 11, 2014
my mother died on November the 6th and I am 15 too
by: Nour

(Sorry for grammar mistakes )
Hey , I'm Nour Saïd from Egypt , i am 15 years old too ,I lost my mom 3 weeks ago , she was 61 , she died in a hospital , I couldn't even believe it when the wife of my aunt's brother called me when I was staying the weekend at my aunt's and was like "hey how are you , are you ok ? " and I was like "yeah , I am " honestly I thought that she was just calling to check up on me , but suddenly she was all like " you have to be strong for your dad " when she didn't mention my mom I got worried and I said " what's going on here " and then she said " Nourhane , be strong , your mother died " . I just remember standing there emotionless for I don't know how long and then I asked her " my mother is dead ? " and then It kinda like really hit me and I started crying and screaming , my aunt got out of her room , she was crying too , she tried to make me calm down but I couldn't , all the time I kept saying " this is a dream , no no no she couldn't be this a dream , she wouldn't leave me like that , she wouldn't leave me all alone like that , she is all I have , she wouldn't do this to me " I was destroyed , still am , I feel all alone , cuz we too were best friends , we talked about everything , even tho she was really old , I felt like we were really best friends , we didn't fight a lot , maybe like a small argument and then we would go back to laughing with each other and joking , we would sometimes in the summer stay up at 5.am just talking , me and her alone , I don't have any siblings and my relationship with my father was not that great , we had a lot of fights and I basically hated him back then but after my mom's death he became someone else , and I started loving him , and getting close to him , and we kind of became friends and my dad is an old man like 73 years old , and I am terrified of the idea of him leaving me alone too .
I miss mom too much , I can't even look at her picture without crying , I see all my friends talking about how their mother did this and said that and I wanna break down crying , I feel so alone and empty , I feel like a big part of me died , I feel like a part of my heart died with her too . I am writing this right now because I can't sleep either , I am trying to be better at least for my father but I am scared , I am really scared .

ed note: This blog has been transitioned to a great new Forum with private messaging. Please check it out by hitting the "The Grief Club" button on the left. You can even resubmit your post there for fresh advice. Thanks so much!

Dec 04, 2014
I lost my mom November 20th
by: Anonymous

Hi I'm so sorry as well for your loss. I'm 28 years old and had a very strong relationship with my mom. Like you her death was unexpected to the point of building a porch with her and a couple weeks later you are told she has pancreatic cancer and it's spreading everywhere. I feel your pain she was loving and compassionate. My prayers are with you.

Nov 10, 2014
Back Bone
by: Anonymous

Your Mom is your back bone more than ever know. She is with wou 24/7. Love, Another Mom

Nov 10, 2014
To Maddy
by: Madelyn

hello maddy, my name is Madelyn and I too have just lost my mom almost three months ago, August 19th,2014. My experience was much different but the same. I am 14 years old. I lost my mom to her long battle of Breast Cancer when she was diagnosed when I was only a year old. She was given a 20% chance of living more than 5 years at that point, and she lived 13. That unfortunately makes it no easier to grieve for she was too my best friend and my everything, and I too can't sleep on this night and stumbled across your post. I hope your doing better. Sending love and support

ed note: This blog has been transitioned to a great new Forum with private messaging. Please check it out by hitting the "The Grief Club" button on the left. You can even resubmit your post there for fresh advice. Thanks so much!

Nov 05, 2014
loss of my mom
by: May

I have never experienced losing someone close to me through death this is the weirdest and very sad experience. I have a strong belief in God but it is still so hard. I loss my Mom last month we were very close I did everything for her she was 84 but age doesn't matter when there is such as close connection. Sometimes it doesn't seem real that she is gone. I cry every few days especially when something reminds me of her.. I think sometimes the effect of her death seems so heavy on my psych because I also went through a divorce this year. If it wasn't for people praying for me and my children and my belief in God I would go crazy; Anyway thank you for this forum so we can tell our story and somehow find some sense of relief knowing that we all have experienced some loss through death and it's not the end of the world. Its so hard to process but we have to live and move forward with our lives because I know personally that is what my mom would want and I'm sure your love one would want the same for you. I'm taking one day at a time. I'm still trusting in God and know with everything I have to endure it will make me a stronger person. Be Blessed. I pray for you you pray for me. Lets no give up on Life! We all are here for a purpose!

Oct 12, 2014
I'm 58.. lost my mom when 15
by: Anonymous

Hi Maddy
My mom died suddenly when I was 15. The older kids were at college and my little brother was 12. I am 58 now and still haven't gotten over her death. I had to grow up fast by running the household as my father found consolation with other adults. Men are wired differently than women. I strongly suggest you keep a journal....about any and everything mom. Seek out your mother's friends to share stories and grief with. Women will nurture you appropriately during this (brain) tender age. Now is when your brain is doing its work wiring you for adulthood. Seek a female teacher to help guide you through this time and keep participating with friends and activities as before. Check grief groups for teens. I wish I had someone to tell me things like this. Love yourself and know your momma loves you. I hope this helps
Prayers for you offered.

ed note: This blog has been transitioned to a great new Forum with private messaging. Please check it out by hitting the "The Grief Club" button on the left. You can even resubmit your post there for fresh advice. Thanks so much!

Aug 09, 2014
Lost my mom at 15
by: Jane

Dear Madison. The one and only person who could help you now, would be your Mom. But she died. I am so sorry. I am much older than you are, but I miss my Mom a lot too. She died on the 8 of May 2013. My grief is changing almost every day. The only thing I can do is, live one day after the other. Today I am feeling so very death inside my self too. And tomorrow? Well, tomorrow is tomorrow. I´ll take it like it comes. Well Madison, you and your Mom where good friends, same was my Mom and I too. I have this emptyness feeling inside too. When I get together with friends, there I can tell them about my Mom, I just love it to talk about her and all the memories, even when I cry sometimes. I could tell it the whole bright world, how wonderful my Mom was. I think you are feeling the same way. Yes, you are so right, when your write, with only 15 years old you needed your Mom so badly. My best girlfriend is right now in the hospital. She got two daughters 15 and 18 years old. I am at my brothers home right now, because he and his family are on holidays and I take care of the cat, the flowers and the house. But I am scared, that my girlfriend will die in the hospital and I cannot be with here. She has this awful cancer. Maybe it would be too much for me right now, that´s why God brought me to another place. Dear Maison. You have to go thru a long dark grieving tunnel. I hope and wish that you have good friends and family where you can talk too. Maybe you write a diary or tell us here, how you feel. Every one here can understand you with all your hurts, thoughts and pains. Sorry that I cannot tell you, that tomorrow you feeling good. I wish I could. But the grieving is realy a long, hard way to go. One day you maybe going to accept it, like a new part of yourself. But don´t forget, the hope is a part of yourself too. Don´t give up, your Mom is right beside you and in your heart. You can tell her everything. She is so close to you, you want believe it. May God bless you and comfort you and give you all the great power you gonna need now. Much Love Jane.

Aug 07, 2014
@ lost mom at 15
by: Ladybug

I am still up too because I no longer sleep at night. I lost my husband 2 months ago. I have a 15 yr old daughter, and I have seen through her eyes what you are going through. I am so glad that you are seeing a counselor. I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you things will be fine, but we both have a long road ahead of us. Please try to keep the lines of communication open with your family and friends. There is no magic formula to how long we are supposed to grieve, so you grieve as long as you need. Write down everything because your memory will be shot for a while. Write down everything you can remember about her!! Just keep writing, so you will have it later to cherish. I still have all of my husbands clothes in his closet because it smells like him when you walk in there. Maybe, you could get a favorite shirt of hers to keep for when you need to bring back that olfactory memory. We will never be the same, but we have to find a new normal. Hugs!!

Aug 07, 2014
Lost my mom at 15
by: Doreen UK

Maddy I am so sorry for your loss of your mom at such a young age when you still need nurturing. I am so glad you have seen a counsellor for a couple of times. Don't stop till the counsellor is able to tell you that you don't need to go anymore. To die suddenly is such a shock for the family. Some people go into shock and denial and unable to move from this point for some time. This is how I reacted and somehow after losing my husband to cancer 2 yrs. ago I was not able to function for 6 months. I did nothing and I nurtured myself back into life.
We all react differently to grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Crying is the best grief. It is natural, and never forced. No one can force themselves to cry. You will start to heal and be able to cope with life. It will be hard on your father losing his wife. To lose a spouse is the worst feeling of pain ever. Try and encourage your father to seek counselling for himself if you find he is not coping. None of you can be strong for each other as you have your own needs. All you can do is keep talking and supporting each other. Life will get easier in time.

Aug 07, 2014
A few words
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your tremendous loss. I have a daughter who is 16. I cannot imagine how she would handle such a devastating loss. You may still be in shock. I had a terrible loss a little more than a year ago and I am still grieving. Keep talking to your counselors. It helps me to talk to a few good friends. Understand that one does not "get over" such a loss, one survives it. Allow yourself in time to smile and laugh, to be happy again. It's okay, your mother would want that for you. Consider it a way to honor her. You will be in my thoughts.

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