Lost my Mom due to heart attack..she was 53..i'm 21..
About twenty days back God decided to take my mom away from us.I'm 21 yrs old,her youngest son,youngest of the four siblings.My mom had a heart attack that night and within 15 minutes, before my dad and sister,who happens to be a doc, could figure what was happening to her,before she could be taken to the hospital,she was gone.She had never really complained before of any health issues.We had no clue that we were gonna lose her this soon.
I've been told that I'm handling this very strongly, But I donno if I'm really that strong or I'm just pretending to be so.I cant afford to cry in front of my family, So this a better place for me to express my feelings.People around me who are unaware of my Mom's death can never guess that something like this has has happened with me.
About my Mom,She was one selfless lady, always willing to help anyone around.Its really hard to find someone who would not praise her.A lady who never asked anything for herself,always made sure we got all that we need even if she had keep aside her own smallest of needs.
Whatever we are today, a major share goes to her for bringing us up the way she has in the most difficult times.
I'm unable to figure out how I should handle it,I find myself very unlucky that I did not get a fair chance to serve her,I had big plans for her,so did my dad and so did my brother and so did my sisters.But I guess she was happy giving,just like any mother would do.She sacrificed so much for us kids and for my Dad.There is no way I can repay for her all that she has given.I don't wanna just move on from this, trying to forget her because that,I think, would be cheating,right?I want to carry all her memories with me all my life,even if hurts me.No amount of success in future life will be enough to fill the void caused by her death.
Also We gotta take care of our Dad,who has never really been away from her in the 32 yrs of their marriage,Nobody had ever seen my dad cry,until now.He was always "The Strong Man" in the family.Handling him is another task for us.
I know death is inevitable,everyone has to go,but I would've been happier if I was given a chance to do something for her.
This burden will always be there with me.
I wish I somehow get some signs that indicate she's alright wherever she is, that she is not disappointed with us, that she's there for us whenever we need her.
I hope the heavens exist,the afterlife theory is true,because she deserves to enjoy the fruits of all the good work she has done in this life of her.
I on the other hand, everyday, wait for the night to arrive, so that atleast in my dreams I get to talk to my dearest mommy!!