Lost my only child
The worst day of my life happened July 18 2011. This is when I learned that my wonderful, dynamic fun loving son had passed away. I had sent him away to attend basketball camp in Aspen Colorado, he was with friends and it was his first trip on his own. He was excited but I was nervous however I figured that any mom would be nervous sending there child on a trip on there own. Well he was gone 3 days and was to be back in 4 more days, he had just reached the camp on the Monday and was doing passing drills and that is when the joy of my life just collapsed never to be revived again. This wonderful experience for him turned into my nightmare and I am lost, shattered and completely empty inside. He was my best friend my only child and the love of my life. I am a single mom and now don't know how to fill my days, the future seems bleek and empty. I find that friends disappear at first I was overwhelmed with attention but now it's up to me to call and that is difficult because if I call what will I talk about I only want to talk about Quinn and I believe most everyone may not know what to say and not want to talk about him. I am trying to do all the things that I should, went back to work, joined the gym, writing in journals looking to do volunteer work, even spoke to a psychiatrist (which wasn't helpful). Anyways I am doing all these things to try and heal but I am so empty and loss and in all honesty I would just like to go to sleep and not wake up tomorrow because this journey is too hard. Everyone tells me be gentle with yourself and in time it will still hurt but not as much. I just dread the idea of going through live being some what happy and just coping.