Lost my sister - January 26, 2012

Today I lost my sister. She was three years older. What makes it so sad is that I come from a family of eleven and I have already lost three brothers and four sisters (do to suicide).
My sister suffered from mental illness all her life and for some reason her doctor convinced her to try a new medication. She had a terrible reaction to this medication. Her husband finally called an ambulance. At the hospital they had to restrain her because of her behavior. That was on Sunday, on Monday, they said she had actually died, but they brought her back to life, just long enough so that close family could get together and say their good-byes. The doctors say she died of a blood clot. I have many questions, but I am not sure where to go and who to go to. My church family have been wonderful. I hurt so bad. I have not truly grieved for any of the other members my family. I can not afford to travel for her funeral, which always makes the grieving process that much longer, if not easier to deny. I did not attend my mother's funeral either. I have also had a number of nieces and nephews that have also taken their own lives and today I just feel like I am at a breaking point. I do believe in God and I know that I will be okay. I just hurt. I want so much to be a mountain of strength for my siblings and on the phone I fake it pretty good, but as soon as I get off the phone I fall apart. I don't like that I'm a faker. I don't want to eat. I am sick to my stomach. I have a headache. I don't know what to do next. I want answers, but from whom.

Comments for Lost my sister - January 26, 2012

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Jan 30, 2012
Lost my sister - January 26
by: Nancy

I took Thursday and Friday and just spent time with God. I got a message from God. "I'm gonna love ya through it. And the message I've given to myself is this "although my life is a mess right now there is a message in it and what I have to do is to hold out until I find the message." Through it all - I have had contact with relatives - mainly nieces and nephews that I have not had contact with for some time so that might just be it. Hold on - there is a tomorrow and for whatever it is it will be better - with it will come FAITH, HOPE, LOVE, JOY and in time PEACE. Thank you to all of you who have left me a comment - it has help me make it through the night. Nancy

Jan 28, 2012
So Much Loss
by: carol,seans mom

You have suffered so much loss and my heart goes out to you. I read your message and I have to tell you my son Sean,24 died on November 15,2011. He had began new medicine four days earlier. We were also told about a blood clot. My son was a very loved son and brother. I wish you peace. You have suffered so much already. Reach out and be around people who care about you. I wish you peace.

Jan 27, 2012
God Will Walk With You
by: Becky

I just lost my nephew , in a bad car wreck and I was very close to him -he was like my own.
I have 2 sons and they are very close to him and they are taking it hard.
My sister is the only sister I have and to see her face this makes the pain much worse for me.
The I look at her and the prayers that goes out for her , she is doing pretty good right now.
I taped the service that was at her son's funeral and it was an up lifting message , she finds comfort in listening to it .
Pray and go to church some place and get the word of God feed to you and I promise each day you will feel your healing - you never walk a lone when you live for the lord .
May God wrap his comforting arms around you and lift your pain and emptiness .
I am sure your sister left you with great memories , and always remember after this journey is over ( serving God ) you will never have to say good bye again . May God Bless You .

Jan 27, 2012
People Do Care
by: Kat

I am so sorry for the loss of your sister.
Although I admire you for wanting to be a source of strength for your remaining siblings,
PLEASE be sure that you find someone who can listen to you and be supportive, even if it is a stranger at the other end of a suicide help line.

Countless times I have felt like killing myself, but I focus on what it would do to my husband and so I just on, day by day. Focusing on his need helps me, so I hope that by focusing on your siblings' needs, their love for you, and what it would mean to them if they didn't have you, will help you.

Just please do whatever it takes to get you through this difficult time. And remember that people DO care and will show it if you will have the strength to open up to them.

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