lost my son and with him he took most of me

by Fabio
(Gold coast)


On the 5/6/13 my son went for a so called track day in Ipswich , little i know that was the last time i ll ever see him alive ,he was only 22 yrs old but he was already a pilot for jet star airbus320 ,very smart kid ,been riding bikes since he was. 2 yrs old , and i always thought him to ride safe which he did till last month when some how , the organizer of the track day decided to mix two groups one very expert and one no so expert , i never went to the track in case i could have been a distraction to my son ride, so some how the red flag come out to stop the race ,my son din t stand a chance when the bike in front of him brake , mind you the front bike din 't have any brake lights apparently its not require , strange ?so my boy hit the back of he s mate bike and to this moment we still waiting for the police to tell us exactly what happened, all we know my wife and i are in a such a pain that only she has lost the only child the way we did would understand, no race track officials have contact us so far or even the organizers. Try to stir away from a suicide , but very hard , such and young life taken so fast i m not sure if it was fair, considering of what he has archived so far , youngest ever pilot for jet star , 2 dan in takewondo at the age of 12 , solo flight at 14 in the Australian air force , never missed a down for anz day , always ready to help anyone in any way he could , we were told over 350 people attended he s funeral , we knew he touched s lot of people but not that much , many more couldn't make so imagine , now we are trying to come to the understanding that my only boy he s not coming home ,my wife and i had been blessed to have Chris as our son but we can t understand why was he taken away from us , my wife and i have no more interest to live we lost our precious boy and we are lost now without him, if you or any one can give us a bit of courage by writing to us would be very much appreciate . Christopher would be forever in our hearts and mind . Love you Chris . Desperate mum
And dad.

Comments for lost my son and with him he took most of me

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Oct 04, 2013
Lost my son and he took most of me with him
by: Fabio

On the 24th september was your birthday my boy , rather then stay home and cry me and mum did organize a beautiful evini g we invited all your friends including other pilots , and we managed to rise more the a thousand dollars and donate to your favourite charity angel flight so i hope you are happy and proud as we are of you . MUM &DAD miss you every day lot of love xxxxxxxxxxxxx till we meet again hang in there we will be with you soon xxxxxxx

Sep 25, 2013
Kate
by: Fabio

Thank you for the nice words , we took a photo of a table full of he s friends at the birthday party and in each glass was he s face belive it or not i wish i could send a photo but i dunno how on this page xx

Sep 25, 2013
Your son
by: Kate

Fabio,you are remembering your sons life in a nice way. It is the pain of losing them that devastates us. I have learned 10 months later that when I think of my son I break down and I can't stand the pain of losing him so I try not to go where it hurts so bad,I keep him in a box in my heart. Tears fall and stream when I go to look in so I stop. Grief is an up and down process each day and we all do it different. None of us have the answer on how to survive,we just struggle every day. I just wanted to try and send hope in my words because you two hurt so badly. This is a broken world with many problems and no one knows the answers. We struggle onward. May divine help come to you both as you endure.

Sep 24, 2013
Kate
by: Fabio

I know kate what you saying it s true , but at the moment all i want and my wife wants is to be with our boy , yesterday he was my son 23 th birthday so we organised a dinner in he s memory , we watched he s snap chat on a video , and we laught ,cried , and all the money went to my son favourite charity , angel flight as he was a pilot for an airline called jetstar qantas at only 18 so this are the moments i like to die and go to him i will never know the answer till the day we meet again ,90 days is to fresh for us to not to want to die maybe in time who know mean time we keep talking to chris and he s here we know pace and love .xx

Sep 22, 2013
Your son
by: Kate

Fabio, live for each other. Your son would not want you to be in a depression for the rest of your lives. From what you said,he loved life,loved racing around and he was so handsome and fit,it is hard to believe our child is gone! I sometimes fell the same way and I have a note by my bed that says " I AM HERE 4 THEM" it is about my other four children. I understand the depth of your sorrow.you need each other to help each other go on. We want to see them again,be with them again and God willing we are wanting and needing that to be true! Just think if one of you were gone and didn't have each other to lean on and cry to. You have each other for a reason. My sons father died 19 years ago,no one to hold me,to share that deep sorrow as only a parent knows. We all struggle but we are all trying each day. We learn as days go by to deal with it and bit by bit it starts to add up where we learn to carry it a little better
Hold on to each other and ask God to give you both strength.
Death comes to us all but so hard being your only child and no answer is found when we cry WHY! I am sending this with prayers for all of us.

Sep 20, 2013
Kate
by: Fabio

Hi kate ,and thank you for your nice words yes you are rite , no matter howmany kids you have the pain is the some , but at list you have something to carry on we dunno whst to live for :(((

Sep 20, 2013
Your son
by: Kate

Fabiola,I remember reading your post and I am checking back to see how you and your wife are holding up. I know this is the hardest thing ever in life, losing a child!!! I have lost my parents,husband,sister nephew and niece and more yet this one,my oldest son was horrid,is horrid,it is on going! You replied on my post"losses" and I thank you for being there for me and others too as we somehow go on with the emptiness death brings inside us. We endure it somehow,grace of God because alone I could not! My heart is with you both in the loss of your only son. One child never takes the place of another however,the hurt would be the same if you had more. I have one other son and three daughters but they suffer too over this so we are one big mess of a family,not knowing how to comfort one another because we are all hurting.
May God help us all.
We cry together on here .

Aug 11, 2013
to vicky
by: Fabio

I m so sorry for your son brandon , i completely understand how you and your partner feel and i mean it because the will be no more reason to live , i now been home for more the 70 days scare to go any way and can t stop crying every day been to doc etc but no help only medicine helps valium antidepressant tablets and still can stop crying my son die in an unfortunate accident tv said he had heart attach but the coroner found he was chest injury imagine how we feel that the tv tells lies about my boy i just had done a huge portrait tattooed on my rib cage so now he will always be near my heart and no one will take him again till i die wich i hope soon , hope your life becomes little more tolerant with time . Shareing the pain fabio.

Jul 31, 2013
Thank you
by: Fabio

I would like to thank you all of you beautiful people ,and also like to share your pain as well as mine , i unfortunately, only had one son which makes it very difficult for me to move forward i hope that you lovely people understand me and don t take any offence , me to like to believe one day hopefully mot to far i will be with my boy ,i'v also booked tikets to go and see allison dubouis hopefully my boy will come trough and give me and my wife some strength that we so much need . Thank you

Jul 31, 2013
Lost my son and he's with me everyday
by: Dilia Leon

God is so full of love for all mankind especially for our children, I am a mother of two beautiful kids my oldest son of 20 years was murdered the day after Thanksgiving of 2012 one month shy of 21. All the plans and dreams that he had went with him that day, I love him and miss him more than anything in this world I talk to him every day, and I cry for what would have been and for what was. I remember everything from the day he was born to the day he left this world, your children know the pain that you are going through they see you. We all need to grief for if we did not we would not be human and trust that one day we will join them so until then bless the memories with in your heart for life goes on be happy that you gave them love and that you had so many years with them and know that when it's your turn to join them they will be there to greet you, don’t waste your life in anger I know my son would not like that and so when I get sad and my heart feels likes I can’t take the pain I talk to him. Grieve I do every day but smile and laugh and LIVE!! in my heart I know that's what my son wants for me because I know he loves me and I love him and that love lives in me... I hope my strength will help all of you for we all lost a child that meant the world to us..

Jul 22, 2013
another one
by: Molly

Hi Fabio,
I hate to say it but here I am another one who has also lost her child. I lost my son July 18/2011. I am telling you that you will just never be able to believe that this is real and that it happened to you and your family. My son died doing an everyday thing going to camp and then collapsed and that was it, he was gone. I think that's what makes it so impossible to believe when it happens so sudden and your child is away from you and they are doing a regular thing (how is this possible!). My son was only 16 and at the beginning of life just like your son. Really I guess it makes no difference of the age we never want our child to die, we just can't believe that they leave this world before us. My son was always worried about me dying and look what happens he leaves me! Like you he was my only child and I am a single mom so he was my universe. I am not mad at God because I don't believe that he had anything to do with this, I would never believe that my son should die while others live (what would be the reason for that). I don't believe a lot of the stuff that people say to make you feel better. I just believe that an awful thing happened and that is it (we were just unlucky). Why would God do this to me?? I am good person my son was a wonderful boy and we are honest, hardworking and caring so this is why I will never believe that God had any hand in this. I think that people just die and that's it. In terms of if I believe in God or not (I am not sure). I think like you I believe in spirituality. No good God would make people suffer so much pain for no reason. I went to a couple of mediums too and let me tell you it is the only thing that has kept me alive and also some good friends. I am sorry to have to send you this letter because I wish none of us would ever have to be on this site but well things happen and they are not always good. Take care.

Jul 22, 2013
Michele
by: Anonymous

Hi Michelle.
I'm sorry to hear of your grief. I understand that it is so hard for you right now. I would just say add the word "yet". I cannot find the will to live - yet. That will help.
Time heals all wounds.
Love
Stuart

Jul 19, 2013
Thank you everyone
by: Fabio

I'm very touched from you lovely people comments ,and ai share your pain for your losses to,i belive one day we all gone go on the spiritual world but i can't tolerate the fact the the parents outlive they own children i 'v been no crying for 45 days straight and only you beautiful people can understand me, they say spirits are with us all the time and i belive it, so far my wife and i have been seen a medium good friend of us and a truly honest person and she revealed me thinks that only me and my son could have known so i use to be Catholic before this happened but now i only belive in spiritual world , don 't mean to offend anyone here please, but i'v changed and i' m glad i did this friend of mine has been able to let us to communicate with our son ,the relief its out of space for us knowing he s happy and he has a bigger job to do on the other side ,and he s job here was to teach me and my wife to go trough sorrow and learn from it , once again i will miss him every day and will keep crying who knows for along . Thank you for your support. F

Jul 19, 2013
thank you everyone
by: Fabio

it s is so heart felt to see the support of you guys giving to me and me to i m very very sorry for your losses..,as you said Vicki no one deserve it it always been the son buried he 's parents ,but lately it turn more parents. Lai they children to rest then ever, i m asking why ?especially young one , it no matter how they die ,we are all parents here with some pain i'v been setting in the morning to watch birds coming and go without stopping crying , i hope one day i can move little faword and so do you guys it's very hard wen someone tell you i know joe you feel ,no you don't unless u have lost a son/ daughter please don 't say it it hurts even more to hear that, hopefully,iv been seeing her she is beautiful and she is helping me in a way that i csn. 'T explain they'r true people out there i recommend to everyone to get one good one i v got it and happy to recommend ,once again i feel each and everyone of you and hope we can move on day by day but keeping our children snd loved one close because they are here next to us in s spiritual life we are only in a shell eventually we will be riunated . Love to you all .

Jul 19, 2013
Your son
by: Lynne

Fabio,
My heart breaks for you and you wife. I lost my daughter 16 months ago. The pain does not get any easier but there will come a time when the periods of near numbness will be longer between the bouts of debilitating agony.
It's interesting, some people kept expecting me to go through the "anger phase" last year. I didn't, I had no one to hate or be angry with but god, and that wouldn't bring my girl back to me.
However, lately I find that the most trivial things send me into a rage...last week when something broke I hit the wall so hard I nearly broke my hand.
I guess I'm telling you my two messages: it will get easier to bear over time, but grief doesn't move in a straight (or rational) way. Try to love yourselves and each other for his sake. It's what he wants.

Jul 19, 2013
Lost my son to drug addiction
by: Terri, Hickory, NC

On June 15th, 2012, I lost my son to a drug overdose to injected pain killer. No day is a good day, you just exist and try to work, function and just get by. It won't get any better, he was my best friend, my first born, he was just like me, of course no one else in the family will feel his loss like I feel as a mom. I visit him everyday, as his final resting place is on my way home from work. It sucks and my choice would be to join him also. I pray alot and feel this is the only thing that gets me through, and talk about being moody and angry, no one even knows, I almost feel bipolar, because my mood changes from one minute to the next, its just a terrible way to live, I talk to him, dream about him, reach out to touch him, its just the most terrible life I could ever imagine. I don;t have any words of encouragement because Im looking for them myself. I will be thinking about all of you, and I can honestly say, "I know what you are going through and wish all of us could get together everyday and just walk and talk about our children."

Jul 19, 2013
Your son
by: Kate

My heart goes out to you both. I am a widow and lost my oldest son 8 months ago. The shock and inner pain is something I never thought I would know.when I feel numb it seems good because when I am facing it the pain is horrid!
I have by Gods grace come this far. It is a one day at a time process and no one knows how hard it is except parents who have been there. We can not understand. Death is cruel to us,
Takes away so much from us,our heart our love our joy. It is the most difficult thing ever to endure. Somehow we do. On this site are many who struggle with losses of their beautiful children and many others who suffer in grief as well. We are not alone. We need someone who understands our lost way,our pain each day,our struggle to go on......and we are here on this site. We don't want to be but we are here. Your heart will hurt your tears will come and your loss will feel overwhelming but you will just put one foot in front of the other each day and struggle with the emotions until they merge with you. I am still struggling. My heart goes out to you.

Jul 19, 2013
your son
by: vicky

Hi Fabio
We lost our son 19 months ago in a motor bike accident as well he was just 3 minutes from home when a man failed to give way to him and pulled out Brendon had no where to go.
I remember seeing your son's accident on the news on TV and thinking those poor people will now have to go through what we are going through.
You do whatever you need to do just to get through one day at a time,it does get easier to bear the pain but you never get over loosing a child you just have to go on and try and smile alittle more each day. I will be thinking of you and hope you can start to live again. You have plenty of company of parents living without their darling children.

Jul 19, 2013
lost my son and with him he took most of me
by: Doreen U.K.

Fabio I am so sorry for your loss to you and your wife of your only Son. Death is something we know we have to face but no parent thinks their children will go before them. It somehow doesn't feel natural. But today more and more people are dying at a younger age before their parents. It is normal for you and your wife to feel so devastated that you find you can't go on in life anymore. I would feel the same way. This is an unbearable sorrow and grief from your loss. Every parent looks forward to seeing their children grow up, get married and be happy with children and you would have had grandchildren. This is how it should be in a normal world.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. 14 months ago to cancer and I am in the throes of grief. I have 3 Adult Children and feel vulnerable to loss and pray I don't lose any of my children this could be more than I could bear.
I always ponder on the life of JOB in the Bible where he lost his health, property, livestock, and 10 children. He lost everything. This story helps me cope with my grief.
I also read of someone whose only child was murdered. She went to the prison and befriended her only child's killer and she wrote letters to him and took an interest him as if he was her son. It would take incredible Faith to do this. I don't think I could.
In time when you have give time to grieve you could mentor A boy who needs this nurturing. You would find a reason to live again through doing this for someone else. Somehow the fulfilment you would get from doing this would Heal you in ways you would be breathing life into someone else. If you have the parenting skills you can use them to your advantage. This is just way of coming back from grief to live again. But I know it is just a thought and not for everyone. But if someone reads this post they may find their way back into life through doing this.

Jul 18, 2013
We know this pain
by: Michelle

We lost our beautiful daughter January 8th 2013, she was also just 22 years old. It's not that we choose to live, the body won't lie down and die. If given a choice and a chance I'd join her in a heartbeat. My will and desire to live are gone and everyday is a struggle to just get up. I'm so full of hurt and anger and have become such a bitter person that I can hardly stand myself. I have no words and find myself searching just as you. She had just graduated early from college. She did not even get to see her degree. My life is over and I simply exist now.

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