Lost my soulmate 31 days ago
I lost my husband May 20, 2012. I am not only in shock but traumatized. He had a what I thought was a seizure and I call ed 911 but he was breathing then he had another and wasnt breathing. I had to do CPR on him and I felt his bones breaking and he was foaming from his mouth, it was a major heart attack. I cant see his face. I think because my mind blocked it. It makes me even sadder that I can't see him. I try to stay busy but like right now I am just sitting here crying. We had all kinds of plans he turned 60, 4 days before he died. I feel such a big hole inside. I have such weird emotions. As long as my friends or family are around I am ok not good just not crying. But when I am home or in the car by myself I break down. My friends tell me if you need anything just call, well I need Bill back so they cant help me. I dont wish this deep pain on anyone. I just want my old happy life back. I know its still new and hopefully I can figure out how to cope better.