Lost my warm loving 31 year old son.

by from a loving mom
(Alexandria, VA)

My son struggled with addiction to heroin for about 8 years. We lost him on April 22nd. Today is my birthday, and I have been missing him for 3 weeks. He was so smart, handsome and tall, well built and athletic, people loved to be around him. We gave him a good life, and tried so hard to get him better. He always said, he was good, doing better. But we'd see signs. He saw a psychiatrist, and was on suboxone, but the last few weeks of his life was a spiral. He went on a trip with a friend, to "get off drugs", but cheated. He got home and lied and went to get more drugs. The morning he died, he was just hanging out, still a little high from the weekend, but seemed ok. My husband and I went to work, and he found a way to the drug dealer. I left for work at 8 a.m, and he was probably gone by 11 a.m. Everyone was devasted by this senseless loss. If we can jail criminals, why can't we have a place for heroin addicts. Where they can't get out, and they can get better. Instead we just let these young people with their whole lives ahead of them die.

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Jul 23, 2013
Loosing my son to addiction
by: Cheryl

On Monday, morning May 6th @ 3:42 a.m. I received a phone call from the police detective. She told me my son, Adam was deceased. The minutes that followed were a nightmare. Me and my husband screamed for a least five minutes and then we picked up the phone to continue the conversation with the detective to get instructions to the crime scene. I was not allowed to see my son. I did not get to hold him while his body was still warm. We buried him on Friday, May 10th. We are still waiting on the toxicology report. We don't know if he overdosed on heroin or if it was the "G" drug known as the date rape drug. I don't know if he took the drug willingly or if someone gave it to him without him knowing. My son, was an addict. We had him in rehab last year. At one of the rehab meetings that my husband and I attended they asked us what all three of us feared the most. The answer was all three of us feared Adam's death due to drug addiction. Here it is 2 1/2 months later. No one is talking to me about my son, Adam. Everyone avoids mentioning Adam. I get mad when I can't talk to my son, I can't touch me, I can't see him. And I wonder why God didn't take one of the hardened drug dealers, especially the supplier. Why did he take my sweet Adam? Now, I have to live without him. His room is so empty. I have a bag of clothes with his scent on them and I still can smell him. I try to go on with my studies and stay busy at work. It is just so hard to focus. I just want to pack my bags, move, run away, and just leave everybody. And if money wasn't an issue, I would do just that.

May 26, 2013
Lost my son to Heroin on 3/2/2103
by: Anonymous

I lost my son to an overdose of heroin he was in a sober apt and had done well for a couple of months in rehab and proper sober houses. He went in to a sober apt with a beautiful young man also recovering from heroin. I thought he would be safe even though he had slipped while home we thought he did well there. His roommate found him dead he was only 26 years old and such a beautiful young man. Addiction is so misunderstood these young people are often the most witty, kind and intelligent humans you will ever meet. He was my best friend like my other two children and the hole in my heart makes me shake with emptiness. I am so sorry for everyones loss of these wonderful young people.

May 26, 2013
My son-my best friend!
by: Anonymous

I lost my 48 yr old son on April 14, 2013. He was addicted to drugs and alcohol, had been in treatment countless times and struggled with recovery forever, but never totally succeeded. He had end stage liver disease and Heatitis C. He lost the battle on April 14th. I supported him no matter what the situation was and tried very hard to help him, of course I was powerless! We had a very close mother-son relationship and he was my best friend. He was very intelligent, witty and a joy to be around. He touched many lives. I am heartbroken and miss him more than I could ever imagine. The void that he left in my life will not heal, but in time I will learn to live with it! I draw strength from the knowledge that he is now free from the anxieties of addiction and at peace.

May 19, 2013
I lost my 17 yr old to accidental od
by: Jen

My son was upset to over a break up I took him to get anti depressants and had him talking to a couseler! He called me on a sunday and said he was done with the girl and that he was hanging out with another one of her x boyfriends who just so happened to be my sons best friend years ago. But the girl was going back and forth between the two of them anyways he was with him sunday night and got an underage drinking fine he then would not come home! I went to the cops, I contacted the school and his father who all said he will be home he is just being a teen! Anyways he died Thursday morning at this so called friends house from an overdose of soboxone and Xanax! I was told from the pathologist that it was his first time doing this and his body was nieve of opiates and this is why he passed! He was my one and only beautiful son I miss him so much!! I am so sorry you too have to deal with this pain!! Reach out to GOD he will carry you through this storm!! I have numerous songs that lift me up each day just to get through this!! I also know my son will be waiting for me when I get to heaven and I will see him again!!

May 17, 2013
36 yr old overdose
by: Anonymous

We got the dreaded 2:00am phone call from the hospital to inform us that our 36 year old daughter "passed" from an overdose.

When your child has been an addict for 20 years the probability of that late night call is always there. Yet when it happens your heart is broken anew.

Needless to say I am bouncing around through all the stages of grief. At the moment I am numb.

Knowing this grief is for the rest of my life, I am just taking it one day at a time. Doing what I need to do. Feeling my feelings.

My prayers go out for everyone on this board

May 16, 2013
Your son
by: Kate

I lost my son 6 months ago to a combination of alcohol and cocaine. It wasn't his addiction,a night out with so called friends and he was gone. He was not a regular user of cocaine,he was depressed over a break up and "friends" gave him cocaine to life his spirits. Devastating ! !
We never ....get over it.... We learn through tears pain and hard work to accept the loss of this beautiful life. I am still in the struggle as many on here are,and you. I am grateful for his life but I am in pain forever. It will heal and not hurt as bad as we learn to deal with the pain but never will we be the same. On here we understand .

May 16, 2013
Los my warm loving 31 year old son.
by: Doreen U.K.

Alexandria I am sorry for your loss of your son at such a young age.
Mom's will have to live with the pain of their loss forever which is why drugs will become a family problem. ADDICTION is so very hard to recover from and few are able to succeed. Jail is to protect the public. My sister wanted her son locked up for HIS PROTECTION FROM DYING. I know how you feel. My sister went through the same problem with her 30yr. old son who was on medication for depression that carried suicidal tendencies as side effects. He was desperate and called out for help but the medical profession let him down due to lack of resources and he threw himself in front of an express train 6yrs. ago. A mom will have this scar of suffering forever.
Parents look into the faces of their children going through all the stages of growth and hoping they will always be SAFE.
Just look at the statistics. Whitney Houston. Elvis Pressley. Michael Jackson. Amy Whinehouse. and many others who had enough money for the Best REHAB. Yet they all died. They couldn't kick the habit. We may never know the pain in the body of the one who craves more drugs. We cannot judge this as a weakness to go back for more. But a dependency that seems near impossible to recover from. Parents live on a knife edge every day hoping their children will recover. Some take drugs to block out their pain of struggling. Losing a home, job etc. Yet Whitney, Elvis, Amy and Micael all had enough money and didn't have financial difficulties. YET THEY CHOSE a lifestyle that killed them. WHY? We may never find the answers so we can eradicate this problem. Yet we will continue to lose our loved ones and Mom's and families will continue to be HURT FOREVER BY THIER LOSS.

May 15, 2013
So terribly sorry for your loss
by: Cindy

Your loss is so difficult to bear, so hard to understand and so incredibly painful. I to lost my son on March 30th. He had been on and off heroin for about 4 years. I was finally able to convince him to go to his dads who lives in somewhat an isolated area. He was there for 3 months. Totally clean and learning to love life. His dad had to go out of town to work and dropped my son at his sisters on the mainland. On March 26th he met some girls at the beach. He went to their house for dinner and started dating one of them. Needless to say he was found dead in Marie's bed from a toxic combination of a pain killer called Dilaudid and alcohol. Neither of which was enough on their own to kill him.
I struggle with so many things now right back to when he was a 2 year old. I know this is all "normal" and part of the grieving process but the whole thing is just so difficult.
I am grateful for the days I have made it through without crying. They are far a few between.
We must carry on and I know that. Fight the hard fight.
I am so very sorry for loss loss. We are unfortunately not alone.
Please take care of yourself and do your best to stay healthy.

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