Lost my wife of 44 years because of my drinking

I drank on occasion, but when I drank it was too much. My wife never approved of me drinking so I would sneak around to drink. Only beer, 2-on the way home from work, or I would get a 4 pack and ride around the contry side drinking them. Over the past 5 years I have been stoped by the law 4 times. I have aquired 4 DUI's now and in my state it is a fellony with jail time. I have a lawyer that thinks he can keep me from going to jail. I have enrolled in a alchol & drug rehab center here in my home town. I have completed a 90 day program and have started into a half-way program. I really have no desire to drink ever again now. It is a Christ based rehab with good results. In the past I usually lied to my wife about where I was or what I was doing in order to cover up for the drinking. Now my wife wants a divorce because of my lieing. Yes, I was wrong to lie to my wife and I was wrong to be drinking behind her back. I can only hope and pray that she will not go through with the divorce. We have been together since we were in our teens, we have two grown children, 5 grandchildren and have always had a wonderful life together except for me having a few beers a few times a week. I love my wife and have for more than 44 years. She says she loves me also, but won't have any thing to do with me. I have asked for forgiveness from her and God. She says she forgives but she can't get beyond my lieing to her. I feel like God has forgiven me, why can't she? I am at the end of my rope. I have done all I can think of to do to make her happy but nothing works. Can any one help? Any advise will be considered thank you.
One Too Meny

Comments for Lost my wife of 44 years because of my drinking

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Jun 23, 2012
Youdon't say where you are from
by: Nancy

There is a new program out now called Celebrate Recovery and it is a Christ based program that works with the addict and the non addict it works on the Beatitudes - check out your neighborhood and see if there is one in your area. I have found it to be truly helpful...there is a general idea on line and can help you find out if there is one in your area.... your wife would go so that she can sort out for herself the help she needs and you can go so you can get the help that you would need. I am glad that you are on your journey please continue on even if your wife decides that for now she cannot support you.... you need to be doing this for yourself...All the best Nancy

Jun 23, 2012
Lost my wife of 44yrs because of my drinking
by: Doreen England U.K.

Dear Sir,
Sorry you are about to lose your wife of 44yrs. Some people have difficulty with lies in a relationship because it says YOU CAN'T BE TRUSTED. You will have to win back your wife's trust by sticking with the programme in rehab. Don't concentrate on losing your wife right now. Concentrate on working in rehab to get yourself better. Do it for YOU. Because even if you get a divorce you will be in a better position to move on with your life and clean up your act. You will get back your self respect. You have to do it for the right reasons. You can PRAY about the situation. Get God on your side. I used to say. Kids look up to Adults. Their behaviour should be such as to set a good example for the children. Can you imagine if all the children we take care of started drinking? THINK ABOUT THIS. It is an act of not being RESPONSIBLE. Saying this I know the pressures on Adults today and some people drink to drown their sorrow. My husband was a drinker and smoker and he told lies. BUT I LOVED HIM and I looked beyond this. I saw the man I Loved. THIS IS HOW GOD IS AND WHAT HE DOES FOR US. He looks beyond our SINS. Enough to die for us. This is reason enough to want to live a good life. Invite God into your life and make changes.
I lost my husband Steve of 44 years marriage to lung cancer caused by working with asbestos. I nursed Steve for the whole 3yrs.39days. I looked into his face and saw his pain and he knew he was going to die. THIS HURT ME. Steve wanted to live. I loved Steve so much I would have taken his place. Steve was my heartbeat. I sit all ALONE now. Steve had retired and couldn't enjoy any life as the quality of life was nothing. Steve had to lie down for the whole of the cancer illness. Because I have strong Christian values I try in God's strength to overcome all the time. God asks of us to be OVERCOMERS. Which is why I was so committed to my marriage and committed to my husband. I didn't like Steve spending money on cigarettes, and alcohol. All I did was PRAY. It worked. Steve gave up smoking and drank less. Sadly he didn't live long enough to enjoy some of this life. But I hope to see him again when Jesus comes back for us. We are only passing through this world This is not our home. This is to come. Best wishes for the future. I hope it all works out for you.

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