Lost our first baby

I was 11 weeks pregnant and was just going in for my dating ultrasound. We were so excited to find out when my actual due date would be. When we went there the ultrasound tech said she was nervous of some extra tissue she found and was going to get the doctor. When we talked to the doctor she was very straight forward and told us we should see a specialist as soon as possible. We were able to get into the specialist the next day. He confirmed what the doctor saw. So we were going to have a CVS done and of course that specialist didn't have a license to perform that kind of test so we had to go to another clinic. That specialist gave us even worse news!! He told us that the baby had cystic hygroma with fetal hydrops. The specialist said there was only a 2% chance that the baby would make it. My husband and I were devastated. They asked if we wanted to terminate the pregnancy and we said absolutely not since there was still a strong heartbeat and we were going to stay hopeful that the baby would survive. So we went in again for another ultrasound about 3 weeks later. They said the fluid was now surrounding the baby but there was still a strong heartbeat. So we had to wait another two weeks for another ultrasound. When we went to this ultrasound we knew something was wrong right away because she was taking the heartbeat and all of a sudden turned off the machine and said she had to get the doctor. The doctor came in did another ultrasound and confirmed that there was no heartbeat. We had to go back to my doctor's office across the hall to find out what will happen now. I thought I would have to get a DNC. Unfortunately since I was too far along I had to go to labor and delivery over night and they would have to induce labor. What a horrible experience that was for both of us. I had contractions like normal and had to actually deliver my baby who was no longer breathing. The nurses came in and asked us to pick out an outfit for the baby to wear, a hat, a stuffed animal for the baby to have next to them. We didn't even know the sex of the baby at this point because we wanted to find out when we had the baby so we didn't even have names picked out. She asked if we wanted a baptism for the baby and of course we did so we said yes to that. After about 9 hours of being in the hospital, I delivered our baby boy. We picked out a name for him that meant fighter since he fought his little heart out to live an extra 5 weeks. We were able to hold him and take pictures of him and with him. The nurses were so great to us.They made us a memorial box with the pajamas he wore, the stuffed animal, two dvds with puctures of him, his little feet and hand prints, a little angel that someone made, his hospital bands, a sweet poem, a hand knitted hat for us to keep. This has been the hardest time in our lives. We lost our baby that we love so much. Everytime I look at my belly I rub it and then remind myself that I'm no longer pregnant with him.

Comments for Lost our first baby

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Sep 28, 2014
I need your help!
by: Jennie

I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious child, my sincerest condolences. We have transitioned to a new system, and for better access to advice and support, please click on "The Grief Club" button on the left for access to the new Forum. We want to keep this great online grief resource going and need your help! Please re-post this or put a new submission there. All your friends are waiting...

Hi Pat from Green Bay, and Anonymous MI:

Could you please contact me via "Contact Us" button to the left? I need your help also for the transition. Thanks so much!

Aug 17, 2014
16 weeks
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for everyone's loss. On Thursday I miscarried my twin girls at 16 weeks. My body natural delivery one at home I had to call the ambulance to take me to the hospital. When I got there I had a fever of 102 and an infection. I had no choice to have my other baby girl be delivered. I knew since I was so early in the pregnancy they would not make it.

I feel a part of me died with them I don't have children I tried so hard for so long to get pregnant. My boyfriend and did IVF and were so excited and felt so blessed to be having twin girls.

In our hearts we know that we can get through this pain and hurt with time. There are moments of disbelief how could this happen? Why did this happen? I find that I don't want to function in my daily routine. I don't want to want to get out of bed.

I will be going to talk to someone I will continue to reach out to my friends and family even when I don't want to. I want to thank you all for your stories as sad as our situations are I am grateful I am not alone in this.

Jun 07, 2014
Lost our first baby
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your loss of your baby at 11 weeks. So much can go wrong with a pregnancy despite taking great care.
With my first pregnancy I was hospitalized with Eclampsia. 6 times. In and out. I eventually had a boy who was born in foetal distress with the cord around his neck, arm, groin and had to be delivered by caesarean section. I then went home. Couldn't walk properly, and my wound opened up due to an infection and I went back in to hospital leaving my new born at home to be looked after which was painful. He is now 45yrs.
Second was a girl I almost lost at 3 months. Again hospitalised and then after birth never let out of hospital and had a most difficult birth. with complications. I lost a lot of blood and needed 17 pills a day. Not allowed home for over 3 weeks. Third and last birth was fairly normal. You never stop worrying about your babies before they are born and forever after. The daughter I almost lost is the most amazing daughter a mother could have. You will always wonder how your son would have turned out had he lived. This is normal. You will also go on to have more babies. I hope that you are able to grieve well the loss of your son before you go on to have another baby. I hope that life treats you well and that you have the family you want with safety carrying that child, and a safe delivery. For me MOTHERHOOD is the best experience of my life. May God Bless you with Healthy babies and the family you want.

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