Lost the love of my life!!!!!!!!

by Donna
(Pa)

I lost my husband on Jan. 12, 2011. I miss him so much, some days I don't think I can go on. We met in highschool, started dating at 16 and married 4 years later. I was so blessed to be able to spend 31 years with him. We have 2 wonderful children and 2 grandchildren.

My husband was diagnosed with AML Leukemia in November of 2009 and went through many rounds of chemo and a bone marrow transplant in May of 2010. He was in remission and doing well. Sadly in Sept. of 2010 his leukemia was back and he started chemo again. He went through so much and was so strong and never lost his sense of humor. He fought so hard to live, but his body was so weak from the treatments and leukemia he lost his fight. When he passed my heart went with him.

I never thought I would be a widow at 51. We had so many plans and were looking forward to traveling. Now I feel so lost and alone without him. I know I have to rebuild my life, but don't know how. How do you continue on without your soulmate?

Comments for Lost the love of my life!!!!!!!!

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Aug 03, 2011
I Know How You feel
by: Anonymous

Donna,
I too lost the love of my live to liver cancer October 2010. I found myself wondering what I would do without him. I went to group counseling and it didn't help, cause it was people that grieved for their spouses. I told the counselor that I have to go on with my life I couldn't just keep grieving. I loved and still love him, but he didn't want me to sit around crying over him. He wanted me to continue my life without him. I am 42 years old and I love and miss him every day. He had two children from a previous marriage and 3 grandchildren. His family doesn't have anything to do with me since his passing so I have to go one with my life. He took part of my heart with him, and I don't think that will ever be replaced. I hope that one day that a special person can feel that hole again.

May 28, 2011
Lost the love of my life
by: Donna

Donna,
I lost my soulmate July 23,2010. I know what you mean, missing him so much everyday, wondering why I must remain here without him, what am I going to do with/for the rest of my life? Then one of my children will need me or the grandbabies will want to be with grandmommy and I realise that I do have a purpose in life. I am the teacher/head of household now. There is so much that grandpa would have taught the grandbabies, now I must be the one with Bryan's guidance. I come to this site when possible, it helps a great deal. There are so many wonderful people here that are either going thru or have gone thru what I am going thru. I also have learned that no one goes thru this horrible journey the same way or on the same time table. Just go were grief takes you and I pray that in time we will all find our way back to joy in our new lives. As always I go one step, one breath, one day at a time Bryan I love you always

May 28, 2011
Lost the love of my life too!!
by: TrishJ

Donna~
There are so many of us on this site who have lost our loves after long and happy marriages. My husband, Joe, died on December 3, 2010 while waiting on a heart transplant list. I never thought he would die. He was so positive and upbeat.....but so ill.
We do the best we can to deal with this new life. I don't want it at all. My husband was such a good father and grandfather. It sickens me to think about my three little grandsons growing up without papa. My two 1/2 year old grandson still says to me, "Where's papa?" He knows we were a team and always together.
We are all too young to be widows. We were supposed to grow old together. Widowed in our fifties.
So many of us have gone through long and wearing illness that claimed our loves. I would do it all over again just to have him back for one day. That's not gonna happen.
We are faced with a new life without them. We just do the best we can. Talk to God and lean on him. That is what brings me the most comfort. I know I will see Joe again someday.
Blessings and hugs to you. Try to find some good in today.
PJ

May 28, 2011
I know...
by:

Donna,

How do we continue on without our soulmate?
It is the question that we all ask when we find our selves with out them, wrapped only in grief.
First thing is to slow down, Grief is the roughest road that you will travel. It makes all the ups and downs of life seem oh so simple in retrospect. Grief will take you where it wants to go. You will read under Lost Love/spouse that we have all gone through similar feelings of despair and confusion. We call it taking one breath one step at a time.

Later down griefs journey you will begin to figure out who you are. What makes you happy. What you want to do. But for now just take care of yourself. Eat a little something, take care of yourself and expend some energy, do something physical gardening mowing the lawn, spring cleaning it helps with the frustration lets it out. You may cry and sob for the whole neighborhood to see as you mow the lawn but who cares? Let it out its o.k.

Come here often, find a grief support group. Most hospices have a 6 week program. Only one who had lost their true love can understand. Start a journal write to hubby that helps let out the feelings too. I am so sorry for your loss because I really do, we really do understand.
HH

May 28, 2011
sounds like my story
by: Linda Linda D. Anonymous

I read your article about your lost love. It sounded like my stories so much. I met my husband high school. Married as soon as we graduated. Married 41 yrs. We lived for
each other and our family. Had 2 daughters and 4 grandchildren. He had cardiomyopathy and had a 6-way bypass. He lived 2 years after that. I woke up on a Sundaay and he was dead on the sofa. He simply was watching t.v. and had just peeled him an apple, him did not look like he a any idea he was in distressed,just calm..I thank the lord for that, but I miss him terribly everyday. I'm only half a person. I have days when I just want to die and be with him. I see nothing in my life thats worth living. I feel I will never feel happiness or joy in my future. I have not got a clue why I'm here. Will I ever see anything but the sadness? He died last mothers day 2010. Linda we were 58 years old.

May 27, 2011
The Loves of Our Lives
by: Anonymous

Donna~
My husband died on December 3, 2010. Joe was the love of my life. It's not easy most days. There are times I actually wake up and have to remind myself that he's gone. I also have two children and three adorable grandsons.
It's been hard for me to be around old friends and go to places we used to go together. Everyone says to look for new things. It's my time. Try new ideas. Make new friends. I don't want to do that right now. I want to sit and remember and cry. When I'm ready....I'll know it.
We have to take it just one day at a time. I used to sit and think about me living possibly another 30-40 years without Joe and would go into full blown panic attacks. We are too young to be widows. We weren't supposed to lose the loves of our lives in our 50's. But we did...it happened and we have to learn to deal with it. Part of our flesh has been torn away and we have to give it time to heal.
We say on this web sit ~ one breath, one step at a
time. That's all we can do. We're all on this horrible ride together.
God bless ~ I hope you find a little happiness today.
pj

May 27, 2011
I wish I knew the answer
by: Mary (Ocean, NJ)

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I too lost my husband. Gene, passed away on Dec.8,2010. I wish I could tell you how to go on without the love of your life. I too, am finding it very difficult. I am approaching the 6 month anniversary and there are days when I just feel like I am losing my mind. The loneliness can be overwhelming. What has helped is knowing my Gene is in a better place, he is with God and is watching over me and our family. I just try to put my faith in God. I also keep a journal and write letters to my husband. It may sound crazy but it makes me feel closer to him. I am hoping you find some peace in the days ahead. Just know you are not alone. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hopefully we can both get through this difficult time and carve out some type of life that brings some happiness and peace.

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