Lost the love of my life!

by Doris
(California)

On June I lost my husband of 43 years to brain cancer. We had only found out in March of this year. I can't seem to get focused. I Feel like I am in a foreign land. Nothing see,s to make sense anymore. He was my high school sweetheart. I was 18 and he was 19 when we married. Our lives were truly one. The pain is at times unbearable. I never imagined life without him could be so lonely.

Comments for Lost the love of my life!

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Jul 09, 2012
Lost the love of my life
by: Doreen U.K.

Hi Doris, I am sorry for the loss of your husband. The loss of a husband is so very painfull. I lost my husband 8 weeks ago. Steve had lung cancer caused by working with asbestos. His cancer was inoperable, incurable, aggressive. I was Steve's caregiver for over 3 years. We were married 44years. The pain of this grief is as you say UNBEARABLE. You feel as if you have been knocked down by a bus, and can't get up. The lonliness is so terrible. You could scream with it. I feel as if the lonliness and grief will feel like an eternity of suffering. Being in a pit and not able to get out. You are not alone. We are all in this grief together. I hope that you have people around you to help and support you at this difficult time. It does make a difference. Good support helps us in our grief. As we also will be to others through our own experiences. Doris you will feel as if you are dreaming and this didn't really happen and will wake up to reality that it wasn't just a dream. This is when the grief changes. At the moment you are numb. When you thaw out you will feel the pain and loss more. But it will get better. We face grief in stages otherwise our minds and bodies wouldn't be able to cope with the loss. If you do find difficulty in coping then go and see a grief counsellor who can support you till you are in a more comfortble place with grief and are moving forward at your own pace. Best wishes.

Jul 09, 2012
Dear Doris, I lost the love my life too
by: Jo (England)

Dear Doris, I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost the love of my life in May to brain cancer. He was the best thing that ever happened to me, truly my soul mate and twin flame. I have felt lost without him. I feel for you Doris, possibly like my husband who was healthy until diagnosed with this awful condition. My husband was slowly robbed of his independence, his mobiliy, his speech and finally his life. I try to remember him as he was before his illness. I will always love him and miss him. I cannot think about a future without him, he WAS my future. I have some understanding of how you are feeling and I empathise with you. Why did this happen to such lovely people?? It makes me so angry. Most of all though, I feel utter sadness for my husband who had so much to live for and should have had many more years ahead of him. Grief is the price we pay for love. Take care of yourself Doris, that is what your beloved would have wanted.

Jul 09, 2012
In sympathy
by: Lisa

Dear Lost Love,
I am deeply sorry for your pain, but be comforted he is with you always. I am sure people tell you that too. I too lost my husband of 24 years. I know we loved each other but still I could never do things right for him. He was a hard man to live with, we all tried to get him to stop smoking and drinking beer; but his last day I stayed with him, he caressed my hand, I asked him if he loved me, he said, "yes". It has been 7 months and I still feel his spirit, he is a renewed person.
Please focus on the memories, play music your both loved, talk to him. The love he gave you, you can pass it on to someone. I feel depressed and sad, and have not many friends, but if I can volunteer at a senior center or animal shelter, it is good therapy. God Bless you.

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