Lost the most wonderful dad in the world
(Trenton, NC, US)
I wanted to share my story to see if someone has any advice for me. I lost my dad on 4/15/10, very unexpectedly. He had been very sick so much in the past and overcame all the other illnesses. He had lived thru transplant surgery and several hospital stays that were very close to losing him. He went into the hospital for a sinus infection that would not clear on the week of the 15th and aspirated on the 12th of April and went into a coma.
The doctors told us after days of test that he was brain dead and his kidneys had shut down and he would never wake up, never be able to go home or be able to communicate with us again. I have cried until I feel I have no more tears. We decided that my dad would never want to live like he was (being a lifeless vegetable) for the remaining days of his life so we had to tell the doctors to cut off the ventilator. I know that is the decision that my dad would have wanted but God, I miss him so much.
I can't beleive he is gone. I want to be able to remember him as everyone keeps telling me, without the hurt and pain of wanting to cry all the time, but I just can't. I feel guilty because I find myself struggling not to think about him because I don't want to cry all the time and I have to work. It is the only way I can deal with it. I also feel guilty because I am a newlywed and I am depressed all the time and I feel as though I am cheating my marriage even though my husband says he understands, I feel as though he gets aggravated with me because I cry so much.
Any advice for me if you have been thru all of this yourself. Thanks for reading and understanding.