Lost Twin Brother, Mother and Father

by John
(Minneapolis, MN)

Within the first 24 hours of my life, I lost my mother, my father and my twin brother. Choices were made that created the separation from my family – those choices were out of my control. Everything that I needed in the world vanished. I have spent the majority of my life trying to find family or at least find closure. My twin brother and I were separated when we were relinquished by our mother right after birth. Our biological parents were both married, just not to each other. So there was never a chance to have a normal home with our mother and father. I survived the various foster homes, but all the time missing my twin brother. Since we grew together in our mother’s womb, our spirits know each other in a way that other non-twins just don’t understand. Even though I have no conscious memory of my brother, my spirit has never forgotten our bond. I dream of my twin and connect with him in sleep and sometimes it happens when I am awake. I went through the first 36 years of my life with this extra ordinary connection that no one around me knew about or could understand. When I became an adult, I began my search for family origins. It took many years, but I found my biological mother when I was 36 years old. She told me about my brother and that his name was James. Now I could finally make sense of the connection and extreme sense of missing someone. Now I knew that I was not just crazy and that these perceptions were indeed real. My mother told me what my birthfather’s name was as well. I searched for him for 6 months, but only found him 40 days after he had died... A dream deferred. So now I had located my mother and dead father… And confirmed that I had a twin… Where is James? Diving deeper into my search for my brother, brought me back to the state of Michigan. I have uncovered lies, deceptions and false information provided by the state in the search for my brother. For example, I have 3 different birth dates, depending on which document you look at. The bottom line, is that the information I need to find my twin brother is being withheld or has been destroyed. I am now 42 years old and it doesn’t feel like I am ever going to be able to reconnect with my twin brother James. I will never ever have closure – until I die. I have hired 3 different detectives over time to help me, but still not successful. If anyone would like to help me, or can donate to recruit more help, I would be grateful.
Hope and Guilt
Hope is always there that I will someday reunite with my twin brother, because I don't know if he is alive in this world or not.
Guilt is there too... I have been trying to find my brother for so long that it has really taken a toll on me emotionally and my relationships with my family - so much that at times I have to stop the obsession and the search so that I can focus on who is directly in my life. But this makes me feel guilty - like I gave up on my brother and therefore myself. Thank you for entertaining my story.

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