Lost without my son and granddaugher

by marion

On November 25,2011 my son took my granddaughters life and then his own using a gun. His wife told him that day she was leaving him that day.They would have been married 17 years on that day. My son was good at hiding his true feelings.He was a great guy and not because he was my son. He was always there when someone neede him.I feel like I have failed not knowing how bad he was hurting inside. My life will never be the same .How do I over come this it sure is not getting easier for me but it is getting harder each day.Any advice? I am just heart broken he was only 35 years old and my only granddaughter was 16

Comments for Lost without my son and granddaugher

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Feb 17, 2012
thank you for your support
by: Anonymous

It really means alot to me to know there are others who are going through grief to find it in their heart to reach out and help someone including myself. I have a long road to travel and to get through this.Thanks agai for caring

Feb 17, 2012
thank you for your support
by: Anonymous

It is a rough road and there are days I feel angry and sad and do nothing but cry. I just cant believe how a wife could be so cruel and say the things she did on her anniversary to tell him about her new boyfriend.I called him lots of times and she always made an excuse as to why he couldnt come to the phone I doubt if she even told him I called.I say to myself maybe if I would have known how bad he was hurting I could have done something.She does not even cry or go the grave site where my granddaughter rests. I am trying to get over this but it is very hard.I have my sons ashes and we are paying the funeral bills but the emptiness is so unbearable at times. I am so sorry for anyone else who has lost their families my heart goes out to all of you.

Feb 11, 2012
I can feel your pain
by: Anonymous

I am a mother of a daughter who suffers from bi-polar. She is constantly threatening suicide. She lives many miles away, also I have 7 siblings who have killed themselves and my sister just died Jan 26 2012. Plus I have had nieces and nephews who have had chosen to take their lives. No words can describe the pain, no pill can take it away. I find peace, hope, love and faith with my God. I can not describe it. I need time alone. Sometimes, I cry, sometimes, just sit, sometimes I try to go about the busyness of my day. The one thing I will not and can not do is except the blame. I and hopefully you, will not feel responsible for the choice that your son made. You can feel sad for your lose. You can feel angry, but don't you dare feel at all responsible. Like you said he would do anything for anybody. The relationship he had with his wife was between and his wife. Know that he love his mom, even if were not always on the best of terms all the times all boys love their moms. And your grand daughter was an innocent bystander, and I bet she loved you beyond measure. Did she look like you. Try to make up some act of kindness cards, especially for her and on her birthday and the anniversary of her death, go out and do something for someone, pay a parking meter, buy a balloon and put her card inside it. For your son, do something similar. For one day, one moment, he made a did desperate act and the consequences were beyond question outside of anybodies control. I wish we could call back that day and talk him out of it, but we can't change what is, we have to learn to accept it. Somedays are easier, friends help, God helps, talking helps, crying helps, being honest is probably the best thing. If it a bad day write about it here at the grief blag, don't isolate, try to connect with a suicide line, a grief care group, a church stay connect with us - we may not know each other but we care -

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