Lost Young Love or Obsessesion
29 Years ago Linda died while leaving my home after spending the day with me. We found her twisted car with her in it the day after she went missing. God has blessed me by not allowing me to truly recall her mangled body. If I had the pain and horror would have killed me long ago. We were to get married a few years before but she had returned the engagement ring and declined. The day before she died she had agreed to marry me, if I took her with me (I had been assigned to a base in Germany) right then, and elope, which I could not and I declined. Not because I did not want to marry her, but rather because I felt I did not feel that I could take care of her and I was ashamed of the way I had been living. I felt if she saw truly of how I was living ...I could not bare the thought or shame. Well, she was dead and I went to Germany, I drank like a fish, with complete utter abandon. My roommates would tell me how I'd cry in my sleep and call out to her. I at times felt that she was with me and at times that comforted me and sometimes scared me. I was unable to have anything like a relationship, every time I had sex with a different woman I felt like I was being unfaithful, and did not enjoy the sex. Except with a very few partners. My now ex-wife complained that she could feel Linda's presence and I would still call out to her which is hard on a relationship. I'm married to Deborah but I'm calling out for Linda. About 18 years ago I married my present wife her name is also Linda, she knows about the previous Linda but.....I actually find that I resent the 1st Linda because I've been unable to truly express the love and affection my loving , faithful and wonderful wife deserves. I only wish I could let her go.