Lost Young Love or Obsessesion

29 Years ago Linda died while leaving my home after spending the day with me. We found her twisted car with her in it the day after she went missing. God has blessed me by not allowing me to truly recall her mangled body. If I had the pain and horror would have killed me long ago. We were to get married a few years before but she had returned the engagement ring and declined. The day before she died she had agreed to marry me, if I took her with me (I had been assigned to a base in Germany) right then, and elope, which I could not and I declined. Not because I did not want to marry her, but rather because I felt I did not feel that I could take care of her and I was ashamed of the way I had been living. I felt if she saw truly of how I was living ...I could not bare the thought or shame. Well, she was dead and I went to Germany, I drank like a fish, with complete utter abandon. My roommates would tell me how I'd cry in my sleep and call out to her. I at times felt that she was with me and at times that comforted me and sometimes scared me. I was unable to have anything like a relationship, every time I had sex with a different woman I felt like I was being unfaithful, and did not enjoy the sex. Except with a very few partners. My now ex-wife complained that she could feel Linda's presence and I would still call out to her which is hard on a relationship. I'm married to Deborah but I'm calling out for Linda. About 18 years ago I married my present wife her name is also Linda, she knows about the previous Linda but.....I actually find that I resent the 1st Linda because I've been unable to truly express the love and affection my loving , faithful and wonderful wife deserves. I only wish I could let her go.

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Aug 12, 2012
Lost Young Love or Obsession
by: Doreen U.K.

I am sorry for your loss with all its complications. One way you could help yourself is to submit to counselling and try in this safe environment how to resolve your troubled past. It is only by unresolved problems intruding that it gets tangled up with the present. Once you start this counselling you will be able to put things in their correct place and you will then not let the unresolved past affect the present. You will go on to live a happier life otherwise you may end up with another broken relationship. IS IT WORTH IT. Moving from one relationship to another is not the answer. Try and resolve why your relationships are so troubled and break down. You didn't grief for the first Linda. Unresolved Grief has a way of affecting our present. The key might lie here. You also need to let go of the guilt on more than one level. The best way to move forward to to get counselling.

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