Lost...

by Lyndsay
(England)

I lost my 15 year old boy Charlie 11 weeks ago.......12 days shy of his 16th birthday.... Im completely lost as you can all imagine. He has a adult Cancer which is very rare in children.. but he was a young adult just growing up into a wonderful, caring, loving and very handsome young man.. from been diagnosed to dying he lasted only 10 days... I;m still struggling with everything and no one i know has been in this situation that I am in..... I read your stories and cry at everyone of them..... I dont really know if this site is for me, but I thought i;d give it a go. Thank you

Comments for Lost...

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Oct 10, 2012
your baby charlie
by: beverly rose

hello, i do know how you feel,my son hubie had cancer he was only in hosp for 14 days before he passed away. he had a rare cancer burkitts lymphoma, one in a million get it, can double in 24 hours. he was33 yrs old and a mama,s boy.it all happen so quick before i could get a grip on things he was gone it toke two weeks before i could think. he went to heaven july 15 2012. i miss him so much. don't know how to move on? but god will see us threw this with prays and the word in our hearts we will see our baby's again. he,s first cemo treatment he was allergic to it. so sad to watch him in icu. it just killed me!!12 hours, 4 heart attacks no oxygen to his blood but he is in heaven now waiting for me!!!! and charlie is waiting for you!!!!

Jul 03, 2012
Dear Lost Lyndsay
by: Marilyn

You are exactly at the right place, where you need to be, and for longer than you'll want to be.
Had someone told you, six months ago, they had lost their son, you might have told them how sorry you were for their loss, but you wouldn't have had any idea as to what they were truly talking about, and this horrific, heart-wrenching pain they were living (existing) with. On this site, We Get It. We are all living with the agonizing pains of loss and sometimes not even sure we want to be living at all.
None of us want to be here, but it turned out to be the only place where we could talk about the pain we're in, whether it's 2 weeks after or 2 years after the loss of our loved one. No one here will ever say "You need to get over it" or "You need to Move On with your life". We all know it doesn't work that way. The pain never goes away, it only subsides over the years. The first year or two, will be the toughest years of your life, and we all understand that. There is no time limit or expiration date on grief. Each person grieves in their own way and at their own pace. You will need to grieve and let it out, whether it's hurt, fear, anger or other monster that comes out. The only way through it is through it, and we will all be here to help you.
Many of our friends and family will stop checking on us, as they are uncomfortable and clueless about how to help us and think we should be over it after the funeral. We all know this is not how it works and we find ourselves withdrawing from others for a while, or in fear for a while, or angry at the world that doesn't get it. We have lost our loved one, that meant the world to us and everyone else just goes on to the picnic, as if we had the flu or something. Don't be angry at them, if this happens. They are CLUELESS about your pain, even if they wanted to understand it.
Come here as often as you need to and let it out,
even if you think it doesn't make sense, IT WILL.
Take care of yourself right now and do whatever you need to do for yourself, to get through this, even if it means being selfish. We will still be here for you. God Bless, Marilyn

Jun 30, 2012
Lost
by: Pat J.

Lindsay,
This site is for you. You have lost a loved one; on this site we all have lost a loved one.
Yes, everyones' postings are sad, some bring more tears than others; they remind us we are not alone in our grief.
I have been on this site everyday since I found it. It was one year on June 27th, that my husband of 46 years died. It would have been our 47th wedding anniversary on the 26th of June. Yes, he died the day after our 46th wedding anniversary, of a massive heart attack.
It has been a daily thing dealing with my grief. I have learned, oh so weel, the world did not stop, the day he died. My life is forever changed. We learn to accept this new life without our loved one.
It was 36 years on the 25th of June, my mother died. It has been an emotional week for me, but I survived.
We all will survive. Keep coming to this site. Share your thoughts and feelings. We all understand. Take it one day at a time, sometimes, just a moment at a time.

Jun 29, 2012
So sorry for your loss
by: Cathy

Hi Lyndsay, i am so sorry for the loss of your son charlie, this is Brandon's mom and my son was sick only for 24 hours after being diagonised for pancreatitis he lasted only 12 hours, it was so sudden one second he was talking and the next he just dropped on the floor of a massive heart attack , it is really very painful and you go crazy thinking you could not do anything to save your son ,it takes a lot of time to accept that your beloved child is never coming back , its hard but i guess that is life and i can understand how you feel because i have been through and so have all the grieving moms here on this site, we pray for each other and i pray for god to give you the courage to bear the loss of your son. God bless you.

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