Louie my son,my love,my friend

by Kate

Nov 17th,2012 was the worst day of my life.
I got a call from my daughter sounding frantic
Saying "Mom something horrible happened!!
I knew by the way she said horrible,it was bad.
"Louie died mom! "she blurted out.
I went into shock.
"What?" I said. Not my Louie!
The parents worst nightmare. My 39 year old son
Was dead.
All that followed was done in a daze.
We put together a lovely memorial, gathered photos,
Made a photo CD,got music he liked to play for the service,did all the things
One has to do,out of love,shock and devastation all mixed together.
Louie was loved by many,I saw that at the memorial service.
It isn't enough,my Louie is gone. He was my friend as well as my son!
He is one of my 5 children and each one is so important,there is a huge
Hole in my heart because Louis has left us.
There are no words to heal me,I read others words and I know they understand
My sorrow,my loss,my emptiness.
That is all I know right now.
Louie's mom.

Comments for Louie my son,my love,my friend

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Oct 07, 2014
My son
by: Kate

My son took sunshine from my life when he left me with this broken spirit. Half of me wants to heal to feel better and half of me is in deep sorrow. Who am I now 2 years next month.
So many emotions I have endured. I know not how I kept going. I am trying to do better ,what a hard struggle grief of a child is. Like pushing an elephant up the stairs!

ed note: This blog has been transitioned to a great new Forum with private messaging. Please check it out by hitting the "The Grief Club" button on the left. You can even resubmit your post there for fresh advice. Thanks so much!

Aug 13, 2013
Our loved ones
by: Kate

Our LOVED ones is what I meant to write on the other post.

Aug 13, 2013
All our loved ones
by: Kate

All of us on this site who lost our loved ones, know the tremendous impact death has. Losing my child is the worst death I have had......and my list is long. I am only half alive
And go on for my other 4 children and my grandchildren. I
Appreciate this site and everyone who responds with their heartfelt words. I pray divine help for us all as we struggle on.
The 17th of August will be 9 months for me that my horrible evening arrived. Prayers and love for all of us.

May 25, 2013
by: Kate

Thank you to all who posted loving caring comments on here.
All of us are on this journey together. Grateful for each of you sharing as we struggle each day.

Apr 07, 2013
Grief hurts. I hate Death.
by: Doreen U.K.

Kate I am sorry for how you are feeling today. 11months on and I am feeling worse with grief. My son-in-law is helping me clear out Steve's garage. This is an almighty task and very painful. Seeing Steve's work boots on the shelf. Seeing his garden shoes there also. I found a bag with all his cowboy boots in. all going to charity. Death has taken everything out of me. I am having to put all Steve's things in a skip. If only he could see me now I wonder what he would say. A whole lifetime GONE. FOREVER. I can't believe he has gone.
A whole lifetime lost. Every day is H--L. I hope we all have better days to come that keep getting easier. I am worn out with Grief.

Apr 06, 2013
by: Kate

Today is a bad day,it cuts to the soul,that my son is dead. Gone. When I feel it ~ it rips my soul in pain that I have never known.
Today I felt that.
I miss my son,,,,,,!!!!!!!!

Feb 24, 2013
My son
by: Kate

My son,my Louie,one of my loves~one of my 5 children,gone.
How hard. I lost my husband and my sister,no one to turn to but
My 4 children who grieve too.
Very hard,losing the ones closest to me in death.
I hate death.it shatteres from the inside and distresses
The whole soul of being.
Truly the enemy.

Feb 15, 2013
My son
by: Kate

I'm shocked to know it was alcohol and cocaine that mixed together caused my sons accidental death. Read toxicology report today. Back to shock. Back to numb. Back to mad and why! Knowing no answers I just post. Yea I know about choices . Too late. He made a bad choice in a drunken state and died. That doesn't need to be rubbed in to anyone on here. We are going through painful loss of our children. May God help each one of us. Please Lord,help us heal somehow.

Feb 15, 2013
My son Luke
by: Anonymous

Thanks for your reply it was so comforting. We had the funeral last Friday there were 400 people there. We are till the same struggling we cannot do anything work or otherwise we will not get over this please pray for s and our family my heart goes out to none suffering like us.

Jan 29, 2013
Kate - Louie's mom
by: Sweet boy's mama

Kate, thank you for your sweet comment to me the other day. I want to have a chance to tell you that i am thinking of you and your family. I know that this is ALL so surreal. I truly can say, "I know how you feel". We're in this together sister. I live in Florida and we may be states apart, but we're ALL hurting. Just a step at a time hon. I kissed my sweet Aaron on Thanksgiving Day and saw him the next day briefly. Saturday, Nov. 25th, will always be THE DAY. We've been lucky moms to have had such sweet men for sons and they will always be "our babies". We can't give up our hope, I know it's tough, and we will never truly heal. But eventually, somehow, someway, we'll be ok. We have to for Louie and Aaron.

We are not alone.

Jan 26, 2013
Lost son 22/12/12
by: Anonymous

Lynn Anne I am so sorry for your loss of your son to a sudden death. Don't suffer alone. If you are all struggling you may find grief counselling will help you through this tragic sudden death and help you all find your way back from this sudden death. It will take time and it won't be easy. This was your child even grown into an adult. You carried him for 9 months and you nurtured him. A mother has a bond that a father is denied so a mother will feel this loss so deeply. May God comfort you all in your sorrow and grief.

Jan 23, 2013
Lost son 22/12/12
by: LynnAnn

Hi everyone
Today is a bad day.it is my birthday and we lost our only son one month ago .He was a pedestrian in our local small town and got knocked over by not one but two cars. I don't know how we are getting through this especially as we cannot have the funeral yet due to complications.we have two girls and 2 grandchildren who are all. Devastated also.how do you go on my heart goes out to anyone who is going through the same thing. My son was called Luke age 34 years we miss him so much it hurts.x

Jan 19, 2013
My son
by: Kate

It is only 2 months that my son died and it seems his death has covered up the good. I used to wake and love life. Now I awake and have sorrow. I cry. O why did my son have to go?
I will never know. I am so sad within. Thanks to all who posted for me. Love to us all on here

Jan 15, 2013
Thanks for support
by: Kate

I thank each of you for your words. It helps me to know you know. The shock ,denial, waking up to it ,guilt of what we missed doing, pain of the reality,it is overwhelming and the loss and sorrow. Such a heavy load. Thank you,we are here for each other and ourselves. Kate

Jan 14, 2013
Louie my son, my love, my friend.
by: Doreen U.K.

Kate I am so very sorry for your loss of your beloved son Louie. 39yrs. is such a young age. My son is 44yrs. today and I couldn't bear to lose him. My heart aches for you. Each person's loss is pertinent to them and there are no words that can make a difference to your loss. A son you nurtured and loved into becoming a Man and to then Lose so suddenly is so very CRUEL. I don't know how you will go on each day with such HURT and PAIN in your heart and into your soul. Such loss is so very UNBEARABLE. You may benefit from seeing a grief counsellor for support and to help you cope with this immense pain that just rips you to pieces you can hardly bear it. The days ahead will be very hard ones for you to cope with as every day brings up new feelings and memories. I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 8 months ago I just don't know where we go with our grief? To feel this bad every day makes one feel that they will never climb out of this pit of misery. Every day for me feels like an eternity. I hope you have supportive family and friends to help you through your grief to make it more bearable. There is nothing we can do but to live on each day and hope God will bring us Healing Swiftly so that we can bear it and continue each day.

Jan 14, 2013
Lost My Precious Kyle at 24 yrs old
by: Anonymous

I too am a grieving mom, I lost my son on June 15th, 2012. Its a phone call I will never forget and don't want to remember, I have a memory tree for him and always know I am different and always will be, its the most devestating thing a parent could go through, I am lost and will never be happy again on this earth, I cant wait to see him again. I share in your hurt and I can truly say, "I know what you are going through"

Jan 14, 2013
Losing our Love the Same Day
by: Marie

Oh my! We both lost our sons on the same day. We all went through the same thing though there were no tears coming out from me initially due to shock. It is incomprehensible how these things happen and now I can't even conceive the magnitude of the impact on our lives. It seems like living half alive and breath the only luxury. I an so sorry for your loss. We are one with you.

Jan 11, 2013
I understand.. all you wrote..
by: Neva mom,,

and Thanks for commenting on my Neva.. Im so sorry.. so sorry,, you too .. have lost your dear son... you not alone in all the feelings you wrote about.. IM thier too.. My life too, will never be the same..

luv ya.. your not alone...

dusty Nevas mom..

Jan 11, 2013
Thank you
by: Kate

Thank you Ms.Maggie for your message. I greatly appreciate it and I am sorry for your loss as well. We are all in this together,

Jan 11, 2013
I know how about.. How.. you feel. Nevas Momma
by: Anonymous

Its so soon for me too. bless you for your comment on my Post, I wish I could say something? now to make it better for you.. what I do is.. I cry when I have too. I talk to.. my Neva, when I have to when no,ones around.. I write notes to her to heaven.. I look with loving thoughts on the angel shrine I have to her in my living room.. Family members are.. ok. Only none of them lost a child.. so I know I must and do.. act in ways to make them comfortable around me.. as now? Im NOT the same.. .. so sorry you too have to go through this.. i never wish this on anyone.. Over the lose of your dear son.. I know I can,t. say anything to make you feel better. Only? .Only Know this. you are not.alone.. In these devistating feelings..

Dusty ...Nevas mom

Jan 11, 2013
a HUG for you
by: maggie

my thoughts and prayers are with you today. My mom had to bury my brother when he was only 39 as well...it is unfair for a parent to suffer the loss of a child and there are no words to make it better. I hope you will take positive action for yourself...make yourself go for a walk each day...if it helps...use the time to talk to your son...but the exercise will help. sending you a HUG.

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