Love of my life
I lost my husband John on January 29 2011, his death was completely unexpected. He had went to the hospital for back pain, and it ended up that he was septic from having a callus removed from his foot. No one ever told me that there was a chance he would not make it, I knew nothing until they were coding him. John was my best friend and soul mate, we would have been married 19 years on July 23. I dont know how Im suppose to get on with my life without him. We spent all of our time together, our kids always teased us and said we weren't normal because we got along so well. The first couple of weeks were pure hell and then I had to go back to work, which was probably a good thing, even though I cant stand to leave the house. I feel like my life has no purpose now, I know I have to go on for my kids and grandkids, but its like i'm playing a role instead of actually living. I try to act normal around people, but to be honest I just want to feel sad, if I laugh or smile I feel guilty, and I know he wouldn't want that. I just miss him so much, he was the most wonderful husband, father and grandfather. All he wanted out of life was to make me happy, and he did a great job at that. Thanks for letting me express my feelings and my deepest sympathies to everyone here.