Love of My Life

It is 5 months today that my husband; my lover and best friend died. This is my third time posting since his death. It truly is a roller coaster ride with our grief. I miss Red(his nickname)so very much.He did so much for me since he had retired and I was still working full time. I always told him there was no way I could work the hours I did if he didn't do all that he did for me-cooking, cleaning, laundry-our daughters were so envious. They would ask me how I got him to do all that he did. I just told them, be married as long as us-46 years.
I joined a grief support group through our church. Four of us widows have really bonded. That is really helping us all deal with our grief, and it is amazing what we all have in common, yet never met until our husbands death. We so, Get it, as we say. Doing things together, after our session has ended, has helped each of us. We are now developing a friendship. My children are happy I have them, as I am so fortunate to have them in my life.
I miss Red terribly and even as I am doing things with my new friends, in the back of my mind, I am telling myelf, I would rather be sitting at home , just with him. We were home-bodies, we enjoyed our home. Now, with this new life that has been forced on me, my life has so changed. I haven't really gotten used to this new life yet and I hope to be able to say one day that I really am happy again. Happy again in a different way, as I know my life is forever changed.
I am grateful for this site and I come on it everyday, since I found it. I read other stories and cry along with everyone else. We all are strangers and it is amazing how we can tell everyone our feelings so openly because WE ALL GET IT.