Love u mum

by Mohana
(Makaysia)

I lost my mother a month ago today. It has been the most painful experience in my life. We were very close, despite living miles apart. We talked on the phone for hours, several times a week. She knew everything about my life, and she supported me in everything I did. She was always available to call for cooking help, for venting about work, and she was proud of me, of who I became as an adult. I feel like I have lost the one person who knew me best, who asked for nothing and gave me everything. She cheered me on, she cheered me up. She was my personal cheerleader, always reminding me to take care of myself and my family.I am trying to live in a space of Gratitude. So few people are lucky enough to have been that close with their mother, to know that sort of love from another person. I did my best to let her know that I appreciated her while she was still here, and for that, I am also grateful. My Father, my brothers were all together with her when her time came, and I am so sad that I was not there for her last breath.
We did not expect to lose her.  I know that she lived until the end on HER terms, which was very important to her as well. I have had dreams where I spoke with her, and I know in my heart she is okay. I do. But that doesn't always ease the hurt of losing my mother, and my best friend, at the same time. I consider myself spiritual, but it doesn't alleviate the pain of not being able to hear her voice. Of not having all that support in my life anymore. I don't know when it will get any better. It seems like I cry even more now than I used to. And I KNOW that she wouldn't like to see us all so upset all of the time. So, in her Honor, I try to be strong. Her graceful life, and I hope to live up to her name, and her example.LOVE YOU AMA

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Aug 12, 2012
Love u mum
by: Doreen U.K.

Mohana I am sorry for your loss of your mother. She was a very special part of your life and now she has gone you are facing the worst grief ever. You will have to go through the grief and deal with your feelings before you can move forward into some sort of life without your mum. It is truly painfull having to live without the person who is our strongest support and presence in our life. It just means you will have to go on in life carving out a new future for yourself. Your mum won't be in your world in presence but she will always live in your heart FOREVER. It is human nature to want to hold our loved ones close and to never let them go. This is an ideal situation but not reality. I also have to go on alone in life and I am not looking forward to this. At the moment I find nothing in my day to make it worth the effort to do anything. this is grief. But there will come a day when I will see things differently. But until then I only do what I have to and leave the rest till I find I can move forward. this is different for each of us. You will know when things are getting better for you. Just don't let anyone dictate to you how it should be or when you should be getting better. Getting better is not going to happen. We will never be the same again. But we can feel better in such a way that we can become happier people. Just in a different way without our loved ones. Our world will have changed forever. We can become stronger and be able to cope with the correct support. Best wishes.

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