by M

I lost my lovely dad eight weeks ago . He was a great dad and lost his life to terminal cancer. My heart is broken I find days get more difficult as the realisation that I will never have him in my life again. I am a mum with children yet i feel like a lost child now searching for my dad. I cry at the thought of him, his suffering through illness ,and go to sleep each night with hopes to dream of him just to see him again,this has not happened and I feel empty. I am having difficulty coping.

My dad was a caring person throughout my life he never criticised my failings or that of others . He never spoke negatively of anyone . He lived his life and was contented to live a basic standard of life never complained or wished for more. When diagnosed I said dad why did this have to happen to my dad , his answer was it has happened to lots of dads , younger men , he had had a long life and there was less fortunate people than him. He was grateful for the life he had lived and accepted his fate with great dignity and without complaint. He realised this was part of life course and was protecting us to the end.

We spent two weeks with dad by his bedside . All the family surrounded him and made sure he knew what love we had for him, We held his hand , not once did he not feel his hand held, as when one person let go to perhaps take a break or needed to cry, nodded to someone to put their hand in place to comfort him, He never complained and spoke to my mum and siblings, expressed his love for us even when in pain. Dad I love you, miss you and thank you for all your love.
m xx

Comments for M

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Dec 10, 2010
It's been 23 years since my Dad past away.

I lost my Dad in March, 1987. He had pulmonary fibrosis. He spent the last 2 weeks of his life in a hospital bed. At that time I was working a 4 - midnight shift, so everyday I would visit him before work. During those 2 weeks, he was very brave and made his peace with God. I remember one day when he introduced me to the head nurse, he said he is more than just my son, he is my best buddy. I cherished my times with my Dad and I always miss him.

I feel very sorry for your loss. Time does heal, but you will always cherish the memories of your Dad.

Nov 16, 2010
Lost Dads
by: Elise

Your words are so beautiful and your story made me cry. Bless you!

I lost my Daddy almost 8 months ago and your words about feeling like a lost child even though you are a parent really struck a cord.

It feels like drowning, and I felt like I had lost my identity.

My Dad died so very suddenly and unexpectedly. I always worried that I would lose him through a heart attack or stroke, as he was overweight, a very heavy smoker, not active and ate all the wrong things. He was even poorly, but it was such a bolt out of the blue!

I miss him so much, my kids and my husband do too. I worry so much for my Mum and my heart aches to see her so lost and so lonely without her love.

We never had chance to say goodbye, and although he was taken so quickly that to me he was still the same strong head of the family, and my Daddy... I would have given anything to have been able to hold his hand when he left us.

There is no easy way to lose someone, and the grief is no more or less intense however they are taken. But you will have given your Dad such enormous peace to know that he had his family with him.

It is such a long hard journey, but somehow the hole does start to become more bearable, and having children is such a great help.

I look at myself and see my Dad staring back at me, and in the eyes of my girls I see his spirit.

Until we meet our Dad's again, they are with us - they are part of us and we are a truly wonderful testimony to their lives.

Bless you and take care XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Nov 07, 2010
by: Anonymous

I lost my husband to pancreatic cancer Oct.6 of this year and it all happen so fast, I am numb all over. He was diagnosed with this monster April 24, 2010 and died less than 5 months later. How did this happen? This time last year my life was perfect. We were happy, just doing ordinary every day things that normal people do in life and then from nowhere comes this ball of confusion that you can't believe is happening to you.

This man who was everything to me is gone and my world has been turned upside down and I wish I were dead, the pain of being alone is killing me by itself. People say give it time, time is my enemy and I hate when someone says that to me.

The pain is unbearable and so deep that it hurts me to breathe. He was only 52 and nobody dies at that age because we are in the year 2010 and everything should be curable by now. I hate Doctors, they are the coldest people on the planet and they are liars. I could go on and on but who cares. Death will always win.

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