Mama Lora

by Leslie

My mom Lora just recently passed away and it's truly the most painful thing I have ever had to endure. She was a single mother, my father and her family abandoned her. My father is from Nigeria and when he found out he suddenly remembered his family he had back in Nigeria and couldn't stay. When my mother's family (they are white and we live in a predominately white area) found out she was unmarried and carrying a child who would look black they absolutely had a fit and spend the next 30 years trying to make her pay for having a ni***r in the family. She decided she was going to me and if nobody liked it too bad. She did it, she raise me all by herself. She got sick 7 years ago with COPD as she smoked for 40 years like a freight train and she quit when she started getting sick. Everyday was a struggle for her to breathe and to watch her struggle breathing. Then she lost her legs and I think she finally quit. Not that I blame her but living without her has been a chore. Getting up in the morning is hard. I am being selfish and I want her back. I know it's impossible.

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Apr 06, 2013
Mama Lora
by: Doreen U.K.

Leslie you are not selfish for wanting your mom back in your life. This is normal. None of us want to lose our loved ones. WE just can't imagine the pain of this loss until it happens. If your mom's family abandoned her and your father, then you may not have anymore family? This is sad and must make your grief that more intense and unbearable.
I grew up in Scotland. My grandfather was an Englishman who ran way from home at age 18yrs. and joined the army and went out to India. My parents decided in 1948 to come to England from India and was put in a displaced persons hostel and tried to rear a family. I was born in Scotland and as a child we faced the worst racial prejudice. Bullied at school. My parents were bullied and told to get out of Scotland. I grew up silent in a hearing world. I felt so lost and alone I had to wear the label of n....r. I grew up with an inferiority complex until age 32yrs. which I struggled with and passed on to my children. They grew up with low self esteem. and lack of confidence. I studied self help books and they helped so far and then I went into counselling at the age of 42yrs. I resolved my hurts and losses in counselling and got my life back in ways that helped me move forward and benefited my husband and 3 children. But I lost my husband of 44yrs. 11months ago to a deadly cancer. I feel all alone as you do. WE are struggling to cope with our loss. I am sorry for your loss of your mom and also for the loss of your life growing up as a child with these racial difficulties. Your mom did a good job raising you. I applaud her for not giving up and giving you the best life she could. I hope life does improve for you and that God puts someone in your life to mentor you and walk alongside you and be a friend to you for life. Best wishes

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