Manuel Islas my grandson with whom I raised from a baby I miss you sooo much. It was February 16, 2011 when you were murdered

by Kathleen Orozco
(San Diego, CA 92056)

I miss you so much Manuel you would of been 17 years old this year. It has been 18 months since you were murdered on February 16, 2010, we received a call at 6:30 am from Mexico where you went to visit family on February 4, 2010, they told me it was from a drug overdose but I said that's not possible you never touched drugs. They told us when we arrived that the autopsy had been done and you were shot twice. Whoever shot you was by a 22 caliber when the bullet didn't do the job in the temple they shot you again in the throat. The doctor said you did not suffer but died quickly.

Why did they do this to you? You were only there visiting, how did you get from the house to where they left you at the side of the railroad tracks? No one can give me any answers, not the incompetent police or the American Consulate. To this day it is still being investigated. One thing we know it wasn't robbery because you still had your money and phones. Why did I let you go? I live with that quilt every day of my life.

I am sitting here crying because it seems I don't how to live any more with out. I feel tired and isolated and no one feels my pain that hurts my very soul.

I keep asking myself why it seemed I was okay for a while but today it came back with a vengeance of anger, quilt sorrow, and hurt. Before I couldn't listen to music at least now I can with out feeling guilty. How am I to go on I still have your sister, Jazmine to raise and need to go on with out you.

Remember outside when you had a blanket on your shoulders you gave me a hug and told me you loved me? I love you and miss you so much. How am I to cope I work and go thru the motions but there's no feeling of happiness just a dull feeling.

When will this pain stop a friend who lost her son 20 years ago says it never really goes away you just learn to live but it just below the surface just like it was yesterday but she has learned to go on.

This is long but it gives me an outlet to vent and say what I feel. People expect you to be healed by now but it hurts just like yesterday and they don't understand.

I raised my grandson since he was 1 month old and he was my son, he actually wanted me to adopt him which I couldn't my daughter wouldn't let me.

My tears keep coming to where I can't see what I am writing but I miss you Manuel, love your grandma.

Comments for Manuel Islas my grandson with whom I raised from a baby I miss you sooo much. It was February 16, 2011 when you were murdered

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Jun 20, 2012
Help for your grief
by: Anonymous

Try to find a local chapter of "The Compassionate Friends" in your area. They are family members who have lost a child or grandchild. They are so... wonderful. You need the support of people who have been in the same situation. No one can know your individual pain, but the compassion and support can help. You are in my prayers.

Jun 20, 2012
I'm so sorry for your loss of Manuel
by: Anonymous

Your letter has touched me and I just want you to know that I'm so sorry for your loss ofyour precious grandson, Manuel. I lost my grandson March 28th this year. He turned 18 years old on February 17th. He had severe brain damage. He was (and is)so kind-hearted and gave me nothing but unconditional love. I am sure you feel the same about Manuel. Hang on to that unconditional love and talk to him and always include him in your household. They may not be with us physically; however, they are undoubtedly REAL spirits and they are always with us. We will, through God's sacrifice of His son, Jesus Christ, be with our precious grandsons again one day and it will be for eternity and we will never ever have to worry about being separated from them again. Thank God for the promise He made to us and put a smile in your heart for Manuel. Give him your joy. God bless you.

Oct 09, 2011
Thank you M. Mack
by: Kathleen Orozco

Your comments really helped and I want to thank you for your kind words. That is so true I will see him one day and will understanding everything. Thanks

Oct 01, 2011
Missing Manuel
by: M Mack

Kathleen,

We will never understand the way the world works. Why, such a young precious life senselessly taken for no reason. I am sorry for your loss, and 18 months seems like a long time. Whatever you do, you must continue to work through this grief and pain. Even if you had the answers you are looking for, the grief may not go away. I know you want closure, but nothing you know or do can bring Manuel back.

Keep writing, remember how much he loved you and one day you will know everything. Don't blame yourself either. For nothing you did would have changed fate. I'll pray for you to find peace, and serenity. Take time, love the living and try to feel happiness knowing you will be together one day. He is with you on spirit and loves you very much.

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