March 17 my life changed

by Jcloud

Years ago I met a girl who worked in gym..we immediaitely had crazy chemistry.
The problem was that she was married...this was 15 years ago.
About 6 years ago we ran onto each other and she has divorced..
The chemistry was still there...
She had been divorced for /several months. And I had just come out of a long term relationship as well...
However, we started seeing each other and had so much fun together that a relations beg and almost instantly.
A little history..I am 54 and she is 39 .i lost my mother to cancer at 20 and she was estranged from her mother in her late teens..and had a turbulent relationship with her mother ended in years of silence between them until her mother sudden death 2 years ago.
Regarding our relationship was rocky for the first 3 and half years...due hugely to a number a stupid / prideful arguments over relatively nothing that would escalate into weeks of not speaking to one another..these happened frequently and were often "in my" opinion driven substantially bey hormonal episodes....NOT to say tho that I didn't play a foolishly prideful role in prolonging these splits..
About 18 months ago after the last of one of these stupid arguments I sat her down and said that we HAD to stop this ..and that it just made NO sense..WE both agreed...and over the last 18 months we have had a very very good relationship...
I need to add her though that sine we met she has besieged me with thought and fear that I am going to die at an early age and LEAVE here as here father died (unmentioned above) when she was 3 years old...
She was also told me repeatedly that if I wanted to see other women that she was ok with that ..although I know she never really meant this....she also told me many times that she that one of my co workers was a better partner for me due to our age similarities and that maybe I should date her instead...
I want to interject her that I have had some financial,troubles over the last couple of years and was unable to deliver on a ring I had promised to buy her....
Several months ago she began to make comments suggesting we take a break for several,months so that I "could focus" on my stuff....
It's fair that I mention her that as in her divorce settlement she recovered the GYM where we met and over the last 3 years has basically become a work a holic to the point where I literally had to make an appointment to she her....
Still we have always had crazy chemistry , great fun..and the great physical connection that comes w the former...
About 2 months ago when I complained about her working late on a Saturday night she become upset and agitated and told me that she felt insecure in several areas of her life and that we thought we needed to take a break....
I dissuaded her from this and about 3 weeks later she cancelled plans for a Sunday afternoon...I complained and asked her to honor our commitment to spend the day together...she broke down and told me that she needed 6 months for herself that she had NO free time and that she wasn't sure that I was the right guy for and something was was one big "throw up"....out of the blue..
And to say I was caught off guard is an understatement.....
It has been 3 loooong weeks and not one word has passed between us...
I am honoring her request for a break..but this is devastatingly hard....especially as this came on the heels of 2 great , fun, sexual and intense weekends....
I am at a lot as to what to do....

Comments for March 17 my life changed

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Apr 08, 2013
March 17 my life changed
by: Doreen U.K.

JCloud I am sorry for your loss of relationship with the lady you love and want to be with. She has very turbulent emotions due to her past and she is acting in a very unstable way. She would have benefited greatly from counselling. She would have been able to resolve a lot of her past issues thus giving your relationship a chance to develop. You have as you say got the physical chemistry right. It sounds as if she is unfulfilled in other ways and having a good physical relationship is not enough to base a future together on. But she should have been open and honest about this and her intentions instead of leaving you in LIMBO. You are at a loose end and don't know which way to go. Sadly women can do this to a man because our chemistry as women is different. Women go through more changes than a man and whilst I sympathise with men I understand where your lady friend is in her mind. BUT. She needs to be more OPEN and HONEST with you about her intentions. It is not fair of her to leave you WONDERING IF you DO? or if YOU DON'T? have a future. If you can talk to her then do so. If not. You will have to sit this one out until she makes contact with you. MEANTIME you need to fill your mind and days, and time with something other than her. I know this is difficult to do. But you will drive yourself CRAZY if you don't go on with your life. You can't afford to stand still just waiting for this woman to tell you it may be over. She is moving on with her life. You also need to make sure she does not have someone else in her life that she is testing out on the side to see which one she wants. This is like playing Russian Roulette. A dangerous game. Meanwhile you could go and get some counselling to help you move forward and you may be in a better frame of mind to move on with your life. With this lady or someone else. I hope things work out to your best interest.

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