My cat Marilyn passed away this morning, and I can't stop crying. Every time I think I'm cheering up I think about her and start off again.
Marilyn was a good girl. She was about 14, with chronic kidney failure and a heart problem. Her death still seems very sudden though she had been ill and losing weight for over a year. Lately she was just skin, bones and fur, but seemed not to notice it at all; she was as playful and contented as ever.
She originally came from a cat hoarder, and was rescued by the RSPCA. She was then adopted by my uncle, who sadly had a stroke five years ago and became unable to look after her, so she came to me. She was kind of naughty at first, but became very affectionate. When I came home from work in the evening she would follow me around and meow until I lifted her up and petted her. Every night she would sit on my lap and fall asleep cuddled up to me while I watched TV or played video games. She liked to lay upside down and have her belly rubbed, though she hated anyone else to do it and would claw their hands.
At night, she always followed me up to bed and would jump up and lay on my arm while I fell asleep. She used to knead my shoulder, and put her nose in my ear and purr really loudly. Whenever anyone visited the house she immediately climbed on to their lap to make friends. She loved meeting new people, especially if they petted her and told her she was beautiful.
Last weekend I adopted a second cat, Riker. He is a very shy, three-legged rescue cat; he and Marilyn met twice and she was friendly to him despite his timid nature. Last night as a reward for their good behavior with each other I brought them treats and played with both of them. Marilyn was her normal self, pouncing on plastic bags and string toys with great enthusiasm. Then she cuddled up on my lap and slept, purring the whole time.
This morning I came downstairs to feed her, and found her laying on the floor, making strange noises and twisting around. Something was obviously very wrong. I sat down with her, stroked her and told her it was going to be okay, while I phoned around the vets locally trying to find one that was open. But I couldn't find any. The symptoms she had suggest it was a heart attack, though that hasn't been confirmed, but it was obvious there was nothing I could do. I put the phone down to just spend the last moments telling her she was a good girl and I loved her, and after a few minutes she finally passed and laid still.
I couldn't believe it and was in total shock that my beloved girl had died. I picked her up and cuddled her, and then put her on her favorite cushion. When the pet crematorium service came to collect her, I kissed her goodbye and had them take her on her cushion, wrapped in a shawl, so she wouldn't be alone.
Her ashes will come back to me in a few days. Even though it was awful, I'm glad I was with her when she died. She had been there with me through many of my worst times, so I really owed it to her and it would've been terrible for her to die alone. I hope she knew I was there and loved her to the last moment. And I hope she enjoyed the life we had together.
Rest in peace, my darling baby girl.