by Emilie

My cat Marilyn passed away this morning, and I can't stop crying. Every time I think I'm cheering up I think about her and start off again.

Marilyn was a good girl. She was about 14, with chronic kidney failure and a heart problem. Her death still seems very sudden though she had been ill and losing weight for over a year. Lately she was just skin, bones and fur, but seemed not to notice it at all; she was as playful and contented as ever.

She originally came from a cat hoarder, and was rescued by the RSPCA. She was then adopted by my uncle, who sadly had a stroke five years ago and became unable to look after her, so she came to me. She was kind of naughty at first, but became very affectionate. When I came home from work in the evening she would follow me around and meow until I lifted her up and petted her. Every night she would sit on my lap and fall asleep cuddled up to me while I watched TV or played video games. She liked to lay upside down and have her belly rubbed, though she hated anyone else to do it and would claw their hands.

At night, she always followed me up to bed and would jump up and lay on my arm while I fell asleep. She used to knead my shoulder, and put her nose in my ear and purr really loudly. Whenever anyone visited the house she immediately climbed on to their lap to make friends. She loved meeting new people, especially if they petted her and told her she was beautiful.

Last weekend I adopted a second cat, Riker. He is a very shy, three-legged rescue cat; he and Marilyn met twice and she was friendly to him despite his timid nature. Last night as a reward for their good behavior with each other I brought them treats and played with both of them. Marilyn was her normal self, pouncing on plastic bags and string toys with great enthusiasm. Then she cuddled up on my lap and slept, purring the whole time.

This morning I came downstairs to feed her, and found her laying on the floor, making strange noises and twisting around. Something was obviously very wrong. I sat down with her, stroked her and told her it was going to be okay, while I phoned around the vets locally trying to find one that was open. But I couldn't find any. The symptoms she had suggest it was a heart attack, though that hasn't been confirmed, but it was obvious there was nothing I could do. I put the phone down to just spend the last moments telling her she was a good girl and I loved her, and after a few minutes she finally passed and laid still.

I couldn't believe it and was in total shock that my beloved girl had died. I picked her up and cuddled her, and then put her on her favorite cushion. When the pet crematorium service came to collect her, I kissed her goodbye and had them take her on her cushion, wrapped in a shawl, so she wouldn't be alone.

Her ashes will come back to me in a few days. Even though it was awful, I'm glad I was with her when she died. She had been there with me through many of my worst times, so I really owed it to her and it would've been terrible for her to die alone. I hope she knew I was there and loved her to the last moment. And I hope she enjoyed the life we had together.

Rest in peace, my darling baby girl.

Comments for Marilyn

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Oct 28, 2013
Beautiful Marilyn
by: Diane

I'm so very sorry for your loss, the pain is terrible, and a piece of your soul seems to die too. I'm so glad you were able to be with Marilyn in her last moments, I'm sure it comforted her greatly, although it hurt you so badly. Little Marilyn is beyond pain now, and I'm sure she wouldn't want you to be so sad. Please mourn her as you should....then remember her with smiles instead of tears. Time is the only thing that helps, not for us to forget, but to lessen the pain and let us love again. Take care of yourself. RIP beautiful Marilyn, you were greatly loved!

Oct 26, 2013
Marilyn - RIP
by: Sandy

Dear Emili,
Marilyn was a great cat and a true companion.You were lucky that you had her with you for 14 years. She will always be grateful to you for the love and affection showered on her. On our pets demise ,we miss them a lot and no day goes without their mention like ... my ktty used to do this , used to do that and so on. Only time can heal our wounds . People around us seldom know our feelings but our pets do. They help us tide through our bad times . It was good to read that you have recently brought in a rescue kitty . The stray animals really have a tough time to survive ,living all alone in this world where most of the people do not bother about the well being of others .Keep up the good work. They will be grateful to you . Meanwhile your dearest MArilyn is in Rainbow bridge with my cat- Poochie girl ,who left this world on 21st March 2012. I am yet to come to terms with her demise. Meanwhile my child has bought in a rescue kitten , in whom in am finding solace. Take care - God bless.

Oct 25, 2013
by: Doreen UK

Emilie I am sorry for your loss of your beloved cat Marilyn, and Riker. You gave them so much love, care, and protection. Don't ever lose sight of this and what a difference you made in their lives. When you have recovered from the loss of them try and find another cat/pet that you can continue this cycle of LOVE. Every pet has a different nature and characteristics and it is fun finding out about their behaviour and how they relate. Each pet is precious and unique. Loss of a pet is hard but I recovered much more quickly. But those early days are the worst. You will feel that you will be sad forever. But thank God one day at a time we start to heal. Make as many good memories as you can. Memories are never lost. Marilyn and Riker will both know how much you loved them by how you cared. A cat that visits our garden knows when I love him and when I am angry with them when they attack the birds in our garden. This cat hides behind our tree or the bin and then attacks the birds and this hurts me so much. I love pets and want to protect those that are vulnerable. Take one day at a time with grief and you will recover better.

Oct 25, 2013
Grieve and recover
by: Anonymous

My heart goes out to you. I have suffered the loss of a beloved 21-year-old cat, and others younger, so I begin to understand how you are feeling.
Easy to say remember the happy times and the fact you gave her a good home and she clearly loved you. Try though in time.

Oct 25, 2013
by: Judith in California

You were a good Mommy to Marilyn. She knew she was loved and you helped her through to Rainbow Bridge". She has now joined my 8 babies, 5 of who I lost all with in a year and 8 months. It's most heartbreaking to loose them because they are our furry children.
I pray for you to have comfort and peace.

God Bless.

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