Married at 17years and lasted almost 41yrs.IIII 58yrs old

by Linda Drumright
(Fort Hauchuca,AZ)

I awoke on a sunday morning to find my husband of close to 41 yrs.sitting on the sofa dead. It was terrible. I knew his heart was bad, but you just are never ready for that moment. Why did I sleep through it and wasn't with him while he passed? Our daughters are grown and so are the grandchildren. My oldest daughter wants me here with her family, but I feel like I should go to our hometown, fall to pieces and then put myself back together. I've never been on my own two feet, went from living with my parents to being married. He was a lovely person with a good personality. He was a good husband and I wish he was still here with me. How do you go on when you don't even know what I want? Linda

Comments for Married at 17years and lasted almost 41yrs.IIII 58yrs old

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Jun 02, 2011
Married almost 41yrs Married at 17 yrs. old
by: Linda Drumright

Thanks for all the comments. Just knowing someday I will have the strength to look back and see I am doing better each day. Some day I will want to go on. Thank you.

Apr 10, 2011
One Day At A Time
by: TrishJ

When my husband of 37 years passed away in December 2010 (I was 19 when we met) I sat each day and thought about me spending possibly 30 more years without him (I just turned 58). I would have such terrible anxiety attacks, cry for hours and actually feel like I didn't want to go on. I've always had a strong belief in God but I am now turning to him on a daily basis for guidance and comfort.

This web site has taught me to take it one day at a time. Some days I still have difficulty getting out of bed and putting one foot in font of the other. I know my husband is at peace, I know it was God's will and I know I will see him again some day. I live on those thoughts. That is what keeps me going.

Cherish your close friends and family. They will be there for you. Don't let them push you too much and make decisions for you. Do what will make you happy.

I'm still frightened of my future, very lonely and have no idea where I'm headed. I can't think too far into the future.

I joined a grief support group that meets every Sunday evening. I have 6 other wonderful, very supportive people in my group.

Give yourself a few months. I think I was in a state of shock for the first 60 days. I think back on those days ~ I barely remember being at the funeral home ~ I catch glimpses of the faces of old friends in my mind as I'm going to sleep at night and think ~ oh yes....he was there. God's blessings to you. Visit this site as much as you need to. The people on this site are fabulous.....we are all in this together.

Apr 10, 2011
Glad that you found this site and the wonderfulfl people on it


Don't even try to figure it out yet. For now just get through the day the moment the hour or the minute. As grief enters our lives we try to figure how long it will last. We read everything we can get a hold of to figure out if what we are feeling is normal and how we can get some relief from grief. It is a horrible year to survive. Do not rush grief but allow it to take you where you want. Forgive and expect the most unusual of behavior after all you are not yourself, and you will never be.

That is to say that down the road you will...adapt to your new life. You will not like it nor want it at first.

You will want what was not what is. Today is the end of your yesterdays yet the beginning of your tomorrows. Don't rush it. We must all survive grief in our own way...

Apr 10, 2011
Share the same feeling
by: Dawn

I definitely understand your feeling . My dad passed away just like your husband 6 weeks ago. We still didn't believe he has gone. My mum collapsed in the first three weeks n we are missing him terribly everyday. I talked to my mum everyday. The pain of losing her husband must be 1000 times harder than me . We can only tell ourself dad didn't suffer too much and it must be the best way for him. Talk to your daughter. Share your love story with them;your kid and grandsons are the gift from your husband. You must continue his spirit and share your stories with your grandsons so that they can share it with their kids maybe 30 years later. This is the way how your husband live forever. Everybody said time will heal but I know it never heals. What we can do is remember everything of him n keep his spirit forever.

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