Mary Ann

by Mary Ann

My mom died nine months ago. I am single, and though I work, I was also her primary caregiver. She had mid-stage Alzheimer's and other issues related to age and heart disease - she was 90.
But that's not who she was -- who we used to be. She was a beautiful, wonderful smart, loving woman -- and now nothing in my life seems to make sense.
I am heartbroken, and I'd rather not be around people - they just don't get it - it hurts so bad. On a practical level, I do know I have plenty to live for, but on an emotional level, I really don't see the point. I can't stop crying -- my siblings are in pain too, and I'm not sure that we're very much help to each other right now. It's no fun being an orphan!

Comments for Mary Ann

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Apr 05, 2012
i am also an orphan
by: Anonymous

It will be one year on saturday that my precious mother died. I a single no siblings and i am also an orphan my father also died 9 years ago. I can't describe the pain this is noy living it is only existing and i hate it i would give everything to have her back and people think since it has been a year i should get over it. My mother lived with me now i am alone how do i get over it or get on with it . I must have been a very bad person because i feel like i have been punished by God for something i must have done that i don't even know about. The pain h\is so bad that i can't stand it.

Apr 05, 2012
We Will Survive........
by: TrishJ

Mary Ann~
I'm truly so sorry for your loss. Alzheimer's is an ugly disease. My mother is mid stage right now. I lost my husband 16 months ago and I often think if my mother were still "here" for me things would be so much easier.
It's hard to watch her every day. She is not the wonderful fun loving woman she used to be. Every now and then we catch a glimpse of her former self but not very often. The moments of clarity are seldom but treasured.
I don't think we ever fully recover from the loss of our loved ones. We somehow adjust and manage to move on but nothing is ever the same. I pray daily for strength. I hope you are able to find some happiness in this day. I've learned to appreciate the little things. Knowing that my husband will always be with me in spirit gives me comfort. I miss his physical presence but some days I actually feel him in the room with me.
God bless.

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