by Kathy

My son Matt died on March 10th 2011 at just 24 years old. Words cannot express the anger and sorrow I have felt since that terribly drastic day. I am not sure what to do, where to turn or if this will ever get better because right now it seems like it doesn't. I do know that time heals all wounds but it just doesn't seem to be. I would love to know when this gets easier.

Comments for Matt

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May 08, 2011
we are a group of people who understand pain.
by: Kay

I feel your helplessness and your pain.I am so sorry for the loss of Matt.I too lost my wonderful son Dean last year he was 23.It will soon be 12 months and I still cry most pain is still with me ...I am sorry I do not have any answers for you but I am thinking of you and sending my is a hard path we must tread,one that we did not want.Our lives will never be the same...our children live in our hearts forever.Even death does not break the bond between a mother and her child.We will always be Kay

May 05, 2011
by: Shirley beautiful sweet 23 year old son died 8/9/10 of leukemia. His name was Dimitri. He was going to college and he coached youth basketball. He never gave me a bit of trouble in the 23 years he was here on earth. It's been 9 months this coming Monday that he left us and it still hurts every single day. Every breath I take is laced with pain. I watched him suffer for two long years before he died but I never gave up hope that he would beat his illness. He was doing well when he suddenly spiked a fever and was dead within 24 hours. My heart is broken and it will never never heal. Some things help. I keep a journal and pour out my feelings because I realize that there are very few people who want to listen to my grief talk. I go to Compassionate Friends meetings once a month which is keeping me sane. I also post here and on a site called My Child Has Wings. All of these help me deal with my grief. I've come to understand that this is my new reality and when I feel my anxiety rising I write or come here and post. I'm so sorry that you are in this terrible horrible "club".

May 05, 2011
Still very Fresh
by: Anonymous

I have impressions of those first few months, not a lot of actual memory. Levi died Jan 29, 2009. I do know I questioned that familiar old bible verse, "God won't give us more than we can handle". Cause boy I wasn't doin so well. Now 2 1/2 years out, I have made peace with the Lord, I had to. I am finding peace again these days and happiness is beginning to return to our family. It is tough getting here, but you will. Your not alone. There's a lot of us mom's out here who spend a certain amount of moments each day thinking of our children who are no longer here. We miss them and always will, that part never changes. Give yourself time, and don't let anyone tell you when that time should be up. God Bless You, and I will pray for you. No doubt you have some rough days ahead.

May 04, 2011
Getting easier
by: Pat

Kathy, My son was 36yrs. old and completed suicide on Sept 20, 2010. I still struggle everyday,the first couple months I did nothing but sit at home or at the cemetary and cry, bills didn't get paid,house didn't get cleaned I mean I did nothing. I started a new job this week even though he is on mind everyday, all day and I still can burst into tears out of no where, I feel I am learning slowly very slowly how to cope. I don't think time will ever heal the kind of pain a mother feels when her child dies but I am starting to believe we learn how to tolerate the new us. Hang in there it doesn't get less painful nor do we ever stop thinking of our children but like I said before we learn to cope and to function with our new normal.

May 04, 2011
so sorry
by: Anonymous

kathy i am sorry for the horrible pain u r going through. i lost my oldest daughter 1-11-10 .she was26 . accidental drug overdose. i hate 2 say but i still hurt deeply. i kept asking the same thing i have found God, talking 2 friends and family and at night i would write in a journal about my pain and read a book on grief. i also watch alot of tv to escape im so sorry, your not alone

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