May God bless Vickie

by john
(california)

I've just lost my best friend and only one I've ever been in love with. On monday nov.4 2013 Vickie passed away from a sudden heart attack while in the hospital. This is my fifth try to write this. I miss her so much I don't think I can take this pain much longer.She was great. She had a hard life but she fought hard to keep it. 25 years of diabetes took ther toll on her. dialasis 4 times a week almost finished her but her life was saved in jan. 2006 by a kidney/pancreas transplant. I met her aug 25 2007 when she was just getting back on her feet.I fell deeply for her soon after that. She lost Her mother, only sister, and estranged husband just a year or two before.(her father passed when she was eary 20's) Her only child(son) developed a drug problem about that time and got into trouble with the law.Her late husband had hidden a gambling addiction from her that lost her house car and a buisness she started, still she had a heart of gold.I could go on about the injustices she endured but she would't want that.She had a great deal of pain in her life-physical and emotional but she learned to lean on me a little and we got through our days together.the truth is I needed her as much or more than she needed me.She was a big(and the best) part of my life-every day.HOW DO YOU GO ON AFTER THE BEST PART OF YOU HAS GONE? I feel bitter about her brother(her last sibling) for refusing to help her,and angry as hell with her son for causing her so much pain, stress, and dissapointment, but mostly I hate the fact that our time is over. I'll never hear the voice I loved so much ,or feel the touch that melted my heart again.You had to know her to understand how big a loss this is.this is too hard to do right now.If you can see this Vick- know I love you. I will miss you more than I can say. God bless you.and keep safe-JB

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Nov 09, 2013
So sad for you.
by: Lawrence

Hi
You ask “HOW DO YOU GO ON AFTER THE BEST PART OF YOUR LIFE HAS GONE?” I will tell you John,
You just do.
The overwhelming agony of losing Vickie and the feeling of hopelessness is so painful that you just can’t see a life without her and my heart breaks for you; her death is so recent you must be in a total daze.
I will say though; all of us on this web site have been through the intense pain you are suffering now and although I don’t expect you to believe me, we survived whether we wanted to or not.
It is nearly eleven months since my deeply cherished wife died almost in my arms and as I sit here typing my comment to you I am still heartbroken and sad at having to live the rest of my life without her after seventy years together, but the pain does get easier as the months pass and the tears don’t flow so easily but I still get emotional seeing a couple holding hands or kissing and if I know there is going to be a love scene on the TV is switch off, I can’t watch.
You have started on a very painful journey, a road none of us wanted to walk on, but life being what it is sooner or later every loving couple will have to part, you only had six years which makes it even sadder, so do what we all did, cry, cry and cry until you think you can’t cry anymore and hopefully the pain will ease.
You will never again feel as bad as you do now; it’s the worst thing that can ever happen to anyone.
May God be with you.
Lawrence

Nov 09, 2013
May God bless Vickie
by: Doreen UK

John I am sorry for your loss of Vickie. Life is so very unfair. Vickie's tribulation in life caused her to accept trials and grow better from them and not bitter. She sounds like a remarkable woman. I had a husband just like this. married 44yrs. and looking forward to retirement and he was cut down before this with the worst cancer caused from working with asbestos. I nursed him for over 3yrs. andhe died 18 months ago. He was also a remarkable man who gave so much more than he received and was a GIVER. We get many people in life who touches our life with such sweetness and when we lost them it makes going on in life that much harder. Vickie had so many losses but I guess YOU were her BLESSING. You will find your way through grief and recover. Just don't waste time on being bitter against Vickie's brother and son who did not contribute to her well being but made life more difficult. They will not have life easy for neglecting the most fundamental duty which is to look out for family. Vickie is at peace now. It is hard for us left behind to go on. These initial days of grief will be very painful and hard. You get through it ONE DAY AT A TIME. This is how I have coped with my loss. I also nurtured myself back from grief which has helped and now I have to change my FOCUS so I survive each day. It is not easy but we do find with time life get's easier. I still feel sorrow on the day of the week my husband died every Saturday. I will be glad when I feel this less as it is still debilitating. May God comfort you in the days ahead and give you His Peace.

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