me untitled

by lori law
(scotland)

my mum died just over 2 years ago i think every day where is she i miss her and want her here with me and my family. my mum lived with us then she got so sick incontinent vomiting she had to go into a care home (which we did not want for her)8 days in care home she died i feel so guilty if she stayed with us at home she maybe could have lived a little bit longer. I as person have changed so much. my husband and i had a alot of crap from my sister who never visited mum didnt care, when mum died sis wanted every thing that belonged to mum. mum loved my sis but disliked her, mum would gringe when my sis came to visit her on occassions because she wanted money.my memorys of mum are good my sis, well thats another chapter. just watch this space i could write a book. hey maybe i should be the lassie frae scotland that couldnae write then turned oot just fine as a author hehe.Hey i think this is a american webite hey im from the highlands in scotland but i do love the american ways. miss and luv ya mum xxxxx

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Jun 10, 2013
me untitled
by: Doreen U.K.

Lori I am from Scotland and understood your language in broad Scots. I am sorry for your loss of your mom. Don't beat yourself up putting your mum in a care home. Sometimes one has no choice but to do this and when things go wrong as they often do we are the one's left feeling guilty. We are at that stage also. My youngest sister took my dad on and couldn't wait to get Power of Attorney. This has caused such a rift in our family and now both sister's are not talking. My older sister by 1yr. was angry some years ago and gave OUR FATHER'S WILL & TESTAMENT back to him. My younger sister (looking after our Dad) gave me a new WILL and I just filed it without looking at it. I was too busy caring for my husband dying of cancer over 3 yrs. and so He was my priority caring for him.
I was looking for something and came across the WILL. As my sister younger by 1yr. was visiting I gave her the WILL since she didn't have a copy. She noticed her name was not there. Now War has broken out and the sisters are not talking. I said I won't get involved even if I am by listening to both sides in support and trying to be impartial. My sister is angry because the sister looking after our Dad is using His money as if it is hers. They are doing up the house, new windows, holidays, and things around the house. Whilst the angry sister is struggling and all 6 children are to share the money our Father has left for us. This is what happens often when someone dies or is close to dying as my father is at 91yrs. My youngest sister who has Power of Attorney calls the shots and there is nothing we can do and so this generates anger. Some problems just happen as part of the territory of death and cannot be resolved. Our Dad is being put in a care home now as the younger sister and her husband are tired of the caring. It is too much for them. Dad is not happy going into the care home and we are finding it all very difficult. You are not alone in what you are struggling with. I have relayed my story as it just may help someone out there struggling with the same problem.

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