Me Without You

by Sandy
(Memphis, TN)

I can’t help but think….you should still be here, not me.
You were so wonderful, so loved and adored and you are so missed.
You were stronger and better than I ever thought about being.
But God didn’t give me a vote and he took you instead.

I don’t deserve to carry on your legacy
But I have picked up the torch you left to me.
I learned to ride and am trying so hard to make you proud.
Though without you nothing is the same and I will never be the same.

I can feel you when I ride our bike, Mack, are you there?
I look toward the sky and search for your face.
Your spirit is in the wind as it blows through my hair and all around me.
I hear your voice in my ear, the way we would always talk….
Sometimes I am frozen in a memory of your voice or your laugh or those eyes.
And I long for the warmth of your body close to mine.

All I can do now is to try to let others see the profound effect you had on my life.
For you, I will try to feel alive again and maybe even smile again.
I will try to hold my head up like I know that you would.
And I will draw upon your courage so that I can face the world alone.

I never needed anything or anyone like I need you right now.
But I no longer fear death, Mack, cause I cannot wait to see you again.
Until then, please watch over me and come as close as you can as often as you can.
I will love you and miss you for the rest of my life, my Angel.

Sandy, 2009

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