I lost the love of my life, my darling husband of 33 years, Richard. He had pancreatic cancer and lingered over 2 years with it. He fought as hard as he could. I miss him so much, that I feel like I am dying inside. I went back to school to get my degree, but now I am burned out from school and job. It has been 2 1/2 years, will this sadness and depression ever end? I am crying right now just trying to write this. He was only 52. He died 8 days before Christmas, and I hate the holidays more than ever before.