Memorial Day Weekend Again...
by The Blue Widow
This is my 2nd Memorial Day weekend without My Love. I thought I was O.K, Not completely healed but functioning and dealing with this new life that I am attempting to make.
3 Rooms are painted as I put items piece by piece back into the room, carefully selecting what will look nice, trying not to clutter up again, trying to keep bare therefore easy to clean(Bonus).
Is it because it is Memorial Day? Is that why the blues hit so hard? Is it because I am putting My not Our house together again? Is it because he was proud that he served in Desert Storm and it is today that all these things come together causing such melancholy?
I have not cried in a month or more and that was because I actually listened and heard the words of Freebird at a Lynard Skynard concert. Cried in front of thousands feeling so very alone.
His Birthday is coming up in days June 4th He would have been 47. I still feel cheated that he "went and died on me" at 45. June 6th will be a month and a half since he died.
Hard to believe that I have made it this long...
I try to embrace this New Life yet the old life still creeps up and pelts me with memories. Will they end? Will I begin? My sister-in-law said to come to the river but I am unsure that I can keep myself together. I feel that I should have a grip on things and not publicly cry.
Even at this late date one step one breath at a time...