Memorial Day Weekend Again...

by The Blue Widow
(Lonelytown USA)

This is my 2nd Memorial Day weekend without My Love. I thought I was O.K, Not completely healed but functioning and dealing with this new life that I am attempting to make.

3 Rooms are painted as I put items piece by piece back into the room, carefully selecting what will look nice, trying not to clutter up again, trying to keep bare therefore easy to clean(Bonus).

Is it because it is Memorial Day? Is that why the blues hit so hard? Is it because I am putting My not Our house together again? Is it because he was proud that he served in Desert Storm and it is today that all these things come together causing such melancholy?

I have not cried in a month or more and that was because I actually listened and heard the words of Freebird at a Lynard Skynard concert. Cried in front of thousands feeling so very alone.

His Birthday is coming up in days June 4th He would have been 47. I still feel cheated that he "went and died on me" at 45. June 6th will be a month and a half since he died.
Hard to believe that I have made it this long...

I try to embrace this New Life yet the old life still creeps up and pelts me with memories. Will they end? Will I begin? My sister-in-law said to come to the river but I am unsure that I can keep myself together. I feel that I should have a grip on things and not publicly cry.

Even at this late date one step one breath at a time...

Comments for Memorial Day Weekend Again...

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Jun 01, 2011
Tears of Love
by: TrishJ

I think there will always be tears. They seem to overtake me when I least expect it. Although we feel foolish doing so ~ it's more than OK to show emotion in public. Honorable people with true hearts understand ~ anyone else just doesn't matter.
I still have all of my major firsts to go through. Our wedding anniversary is in August, all of our birthdays are clumped together in the late fall. As soon as I get through those the first anniversary of his death will be here. I've learned from experience not to plan anything for those days. I know they are going to be brutal.
Thanks Hope for being you. You are such and inspiration to us all.
No matter how much time goes by I think those days will creep in on us where we need to take the entire day one breath, one step at a time.
God bless.

May 31, 2011
Memorial Day weekend again
by: jules

Hope - keep on tracking sweety - take care - one step, one breath every day

May 31, 2011
Memorial Day Weekend
by: Mary Mack

Last Memorial Day I was oblivious how quickly my life can change forever. I never imagined the how devastated I would become in only a few short months back in 2010.

Holidays bring on the memories - in my case he was here -in yours he was gone. Regardless of the circumstance, we are still sharing grief, sadness and unknown urges to cry. I went to a memorial day town parade, met my sister and her family, my son and his girlfriend and my dad, a veteran of WWII. It was a morning of melancholy, set the stage for a very sad day......not that I needed the speeches calling on all Americans to remember so many that were lost for our freedom. Silence as all prayed and mourned the loss of a loved one. I hid behind my sunglasses, crying for all the list souls, young and old, crying for my love to help me get through. I miss him, need strenghth and hate being without my
best friend. We are never ready to face this new life.

You're doing the best you can, the breakdowns are less and you will move forward as I. We have no choice but to find the new normal- and we will. We miss our old selves, I hate this new me but I will continue to try my darndest to go on stronger, wiser and a better person. Prayers, light and sending a good hug your way. Take care and continue lighting up our paths.

May 30, 2011
These rotten holidays
by: Judy


I too am on my second Memorial Day alone and I still hate it. Although today has been eye opening in some ways (see posting regarding closure) I still do not look forward to these three day weekends. Soon that will be the norm since my company is imposing a four day work week on us to save money. I fervently hope the three day weekends will become routine.

I tried something different this year, I made sure I had some reason to leave the house every day. I have to do this in order to pass the time away and also so I will have enough contact with other persons to feel less isolated. Household projects are fine, but that is still something done solo I need people. I need someone to talk to. I need companionship. I recognize these needs very clearly. I just haven't figured out what to do about them yet.

But I will plod onward. I'm beginning to like the person that grief tossed up on the shore and that is a blessing.

You will get through this Hope. You will.


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