Memorial Stone

by Lawrence
(UK)

Memorial Stone.

My beloved wife has been dead for five months now and the pain and anguish still remain unabated.
Yesterday I had to arrange for her memorial stone and as the kindly and sympathetic lady showed me the various designs I must admit I cried buckets of tears at the realization that she really was dead and I wasn’t going to wake up from a dreadful nightmare and I was never going to hold her in my arms again to tell how much I love her.
I am moving slowly forward, the curtain that held me back suddenly parted as if by magic and I have started a new novel and am playing my organ and guitar again, however when I play her favorite song “MOON RIVER” the tears still flow.
I know, I should stop playing it but I can’t it was OUR song.
I read all your contributions to this website and I know I am not alone in my misery.
Lawrence

Comments for Memorial Stone

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May 13, 2013
Memorial stone
by: silver

I have been where you are.My husband died May 29,2011.When I had to go to the funeral home to arrange things it was so hard. My realization came at the 15 month mark on my birthday.I suddenly realized he wasn't coming back..that I would never wake up beside him again..I would never fix another meal for him..we would never have another anniversary..and on and on.That,I think, is the hardest step in the grieving process.I am just now getting to the point where I can go places we went together.It's still hard but it is getting easier to handle.My love used to say,"it never goes away but it does get easier" I hold onto that.I have a strong faith that one day I will get to hold him and tell him I love him once again.GOD give you peace and strength.I send you prayers of comfort

May 12, 2013
follow that Moon River
by: Judy

Lawrence,

Moon River was also "our song" I sobbed each time I heard it until finally it became a happy memory. It will. Time is too short since her passing for the wound to be anything but raw. Cry all the tears you need-it's cleansing for your soul and each tear you wipe away takes a tiny bit of the pain with it. You will get through this. She will always be with you in your heart. This is my view from 3+ years of widowhood. He is gone but he is always with me, my love, my friend, my most treasured companion.

Be well, Lawrence, and just keep living each day as it comes. Life will get better.


heart

May 12, 2013
Keep playing
by: Jenny. Kent, UK

I am so sorry for your loss. But I want you to know that I'm hugely admiring of your courage too. You have walked through a journey of great pain and here you are at five months, and the curtain is just beginning to part. That is in no small way due to your own efforts. So keep on playing, and yes, keep on singing Moon River. It may well make you cry, but tears are healing too. I promise that one day, it will make you smile with love remembered rather than stab you with pain. That's what time, and plenty of it, does.
My best wishes.

May 12, 2013
Memorial Stone
by: Doreen U.K.

Lawrence I was so happy to hear from you again and to know that you are managing a few new things like writing again and playing Your and your wife's song. It does Hurt so much. Don't stop the music. It is what is keeping your head above water. This is good. I cannot play my husband's CD's it is too Painful. Especially "HOW GREAT THOU ART" by Elvis Pressley. This was one of my husband's favourite songs.
You will find life get a little easier as the days go by. BUT. There will be days you regress and take two steps back. Just feel comfortable where you are and give yourself permission to do what you want to do and to move at your own pace.
Choosing a Memorial Stone is one of the most difficult experiences to go through. I am so happy I have done this for my beloved husband. I almost wish he could see it. I feel good at how it has turned out. Guitar on one side and his photo on the other side. It looks smart. But I can't look at the photo yet. It breaks my heart. I saw this last Sunday on the day my husband died 1yr. ago. For me once the memorial stone was done. I felt more at Peace. I gave him a good Funeral, Wake and now Memorial Stone and I feel so good that this went well. It hurts to know that he is not here. But knowing he is never coming back leaves me with the joy of knowing that he is at Peace now and I am now making a Memorial Garden spot in our back garden and honour my husband again. With all the flowers he loved and a water fountain. Best wishes. Doreen

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