Met at 5:00 PM-Married the next day 42 years ago.
by Scott Bryant Bracken
(Grass Valley, CA)
I am not coping well without Denny. (Danella) She died 2-16-2014 from brain cancer discovered on 7-12-2013. No family, no children, don't really care. She was my first and only experience with love. All those who knew us, recognized our closeness. We expressed our love with each other dozens of times a day. I made sure she had the same power in our relationship I enjoyed. We were both omnipotent in our marriage. Having never experiencing love before, and she, always feeling loved, we both recognized the value in love, and for 42 years it worked for us beautifully. Five years ago I had a stroke. Denny cared for me, keeping me safe until such time that I was able to function on my own. While we are not religous, we have always followed the 'Golden Rule'. I met her when I was 21 years old, so now, at 63 years old, I find myself completely lost emotionally. I sit in my chair, blinds closed, lights off, no TV or radio on etc., thinking about my Denny. I think it is giving me comfort when I am thinking about her, so I don't want any distractions. I am consumed by feeling sorry for my wife first, then myself. She has a little stuffed buffalo she loved, and used to tease me with, which now I sleep with. (I am hopeless, but I just do not care) I tried grief support groups but for me, they don't work. (I already have enough grief thank you) I am not a candidate for suicide, but I can sure understand that feeling, and that is with anti-depression pills. I thought I was steeling myself for losing her while I was caring for her but, I didn't have a clue. I am sorry for all of those who went before me, and I say to those who still have your loved ones, Don't Forget to hug your loved ones and tell them how much you love them every day you can. You will be better off and they will also. And even though I did that many times a day for forty years, I am still in an agonizing *ell, so do it…while you still can! -Scott Bracken-