Michael 22 years old

by vicki
(Canton Ga)


My beautiful son to whom I depended upon took his Life by suicide on July 16, 2013. He had been struggling with a sleep disorder. It seemed to begin in his last year of high school 2010. Mike was very strong in mind and in body. He became a certified personal trainer. He encouraged everyone around him and all of his clients. How can someone so strong be so weak?
He had been heavily medicated by a sleep doctor, for years this doctor gave him different medicines and he began to show other heath impairments..I could not see so many things that are very clear to me now, I never saw the effect the drugs had on him. he was growing more tired and withdrawn. He knew so much about medicines that I thought he knew what was happening he and I both trusted the doctors. With each new problem that occurred there was always a new drug to try and along with it a new set of side effects. A new doctor was added to his care and this doctor right away gave an RX for Kolopin. He was already taking Ambien and the two dont seem to play well together. Mean while he was growing sicker and sicker. We constantly were going for this test or that test, never once did the sleep doctor ever think that the drugs being given were the cause of all of his distress.
At one point he was unable to keep food down and was throwing up every day. More test that always revealed the same result. No problem found. The visits to the sleep doctor were the same as well his condition was worsening and chronic. and yet never once did the sleep doctor ever give the drugs a second thought. The known side effects for both of these drugs were suicide for ages between 16 to 22. Until his death I never read about any of the products he was on.
On July 16, 2013 the day began with Mike not sleeping, he seemed angry, exhausted. he was getting ready to help us out at our office. Once there it seemed like nothing went his way and at one point got into argument with his dad, told me he hated him and decided to go into his office to talk to him. He began to cry, I had to leave for an appointment and I waved to him through a window. I could see him crying. He got up and just left our office. Later we would find that he called his pastor, his cousins and a friend all did not reply. One girl friend of his did, she told him to meet her for drinks he told her what happened and he needed to save money and needed to be at his training job shortly. Within a 15 minute span wrote us a suicide letter, drove off and shot himself. a few minutes after he did a passer bye called 911. They took him to the hospital. The police came to our office to inform us we need to get to the hospital. The shock of all shock.... He passed away 1:04 am on the 17 of July. I never thought I could be so lost and broken as I am. I miss you so much Michael!


Comments for Michael 22 years old

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Sep 27, 2014
Drugs Kill
by: Barbara Mahan

I'm so sorry for your loss. I saw your post and wanted to comment about the sleeping medications. About 10 years ago I had severe insomnia and was prescribed Lunesta which drove me to the edge of insanity. I was clinically depressed and had to be hospitalized. Never did I connect the depression with Lunesta, I just thought I was dealing with my empty nest, moving to another state, and retirement all at the same time that was making me so depressed. I eventually changed my prescription to Ambien and again I was depressed and this time very suicidal. I was not 22 I was in my mid fifties. I believe much of what doctors prescribe are poison and even though I am in deep grief over the loss of my son 129/14 and my Mom 8/28/14, i refuse to take any kind of medication. Your son's story is tragic and maybe others who read this will take pause and consider other options when dealing with sleep disorders. Again I am so very sorry and wish I could give you a big hug. Nothing in this world compares to losing your beloved child. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jul 17, 2014
Missing you
by: Anonymous

At 1: 04 AM 2013. Today is your anniversary. It hardly seems possible that a year has come and gone. We all miss you so much. I love you Son
Mom

Jun 04, 2014
Happy Birthday
by: Anonymous

Happy Birthday Mikey I miss you so very much.
We love you
Mom

May 07, 2014
Michael
by:

I knew Michael in High School at Woodstock. He was a fantastic person to everyone he had ever met. I was in a technology class with mostly seniors and even though he was a few years older than me he didn't care a bit, and he was friends with me all the same. He helped me through a ton and I always enjoyed his presence. When I heard the news I was shattered as I could never imagined something like that happening someone who had been so nice. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you can find comfort in knowing he touched my life as well.

Apr 25, 2014
My son too
by: Jean

Robert was 55 when he died by his own hand. That was over 2 yrs. ago but not out of our hearts and minds long. Now his brother, Jim, died of cancer and we are mourning him too. It may help you to realize a son's death is a terrible thing to go thru. We care and want you to know you are in our prayers.

Apr 25, 2014
A very big hug to you with love from one grieving mother
by: Sheela

I can really understand what you are going through. As your Michael was precious to you, my son Hari was very precious to me. He was 23 and half yrs when I lost him to a rare case of relapse of TB Meningitis. Nov 2011, he was diagnosed of TB meningitis and he took his medicines regularly for one full year inspite of his vomiting and tiredness. He had a seizure only once to which he was taking medicine. His immunity was low. Then again from July end 2013 he used to puke once a while. By mid sept 2013, the protein level in his brain was 30 times more than the actual level. After more than 3 weeks of struggle, he kept on sleeping always and told mummy let me sleep. His last words. After 5 mins he had sudden cardiac arrest and he was shifted to the ICU where his heart was revived but brain died. That Was on 15th October 2013. Hari was on ventilator for 3 days and then on 18th October he took his final journey. He was a gem of a boy, a rare individual. My spirit, my soul went with him. You will have so many conflicting emotions, why him, why my son will be your question. Till date I keep asking that. We sail in the same boat and till our dying day we will cry and crave for them. I hope that day comes very soon so that I can go hug my son and fold him into me. Lots of hugs to you. Sheela

Apr 24, 2014
our children x
by: Anonymous

My thought are with each and every person on this site I lost my son just shy of his 22nd birthday it will be a yr this July 11th not a day goes by that he is not in my thoughts like each and every person here the emotions and stages we go threw I feel will never go away with the losses of our children but we just learn to hide them better our children no matter how old were still our loves and I know I will always have an emptiness in my heart for him but I live in hope that he knows I love him now and will as long as I live and when it is my time I am reunited with him I can give him the biggest hug never to be apart from him again but for now I just want to say my thoughts are with you all from one parent to another hugs and thank you all for comenting as I do not feel so alone even though are hearts are broken x

Apr 24, 2014
Your son
by: Kate

Such a tragic way for your son - it is so shocking on you I'm sure you can't hardly grasp it. Death of our child is horrid. Your son at 22, it so deeply sad,I feel for you deeply. My son died at 39 from alcohol and coke combined,an accident, as he wasn't into drugs. Shocking for us too. Loss of our child is tremendously hard. My heart is with you.

Apr 24, 2014
Michael
by: Michelle

I don't know if those who lost children to suicide would rather hear from other parents who lost children the same way or not. In the end, we all lost children and that is the bottom line.
I'm very sorry for the loss of your son Michael. Such a good looking boy. Hugs...
Our nightmare began January 8th 2013 when our 22 year old daughter Megan was struck and killed while out on her morning run. She had just graduated from clarion university with honors 23 days earlier. I just told my husband this morning that life is nothing more than a chore.
Though you are not alone in this journey I personally feel alone on this journey and you may also. I came across this site in the very early days like I was searching for a cure.
Hugs again

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