Michael Henry Edington-July 10,1958/June 5,2013

by Brenda Richison
(Bowie, Tx. USA)


Michael was a two-time kidney transplant, and now his body was rejecting the second one. He had gotten very ill with swelling from fluid retention, but he never complained about being sick, or hurting. He seemed to not want to talk to me about his illness at all. Now as I look back, I think he just didn't want me to worry more more than I already was. I had to go to the hospital for a week or so. I made sure I was released the day before he was to be admitted for another biopsy, because I planned to stay with him at the hospital, so he wouldn't be alone. He was to pick me up I was released. But, he didn't answer the phone. His sister couldn't get him to answer his door. I knew something bad was wrong! This was all out of character for him. We called the Sheriff. He finally broke the door open. I was standing behind him when the door swung open. There was my Michael sitting in his recliner, dead! I couldn't stop crying. I went in, touched his cold face and lips. Damn! He died alone! I'll carry that guilt with me forever. I should have been there! I found out that he'd had supper with his Mom night before. I had talked to him after that and that's when he finally said he was sick. He had told his Mom that he didn't know how much longer he could hang on. He died sometime later...

Comments for Michael Henry Edington-July 10,1958/June 5,2013

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Nov 26, 2013
Memories
by: Charles Edington

Dear Mike,i sure miss all the times you and I went fishing and hunting.along with Joe and Daniel.The years went by and we lost touch with each other but those good memories will always be with me.My regret is we didn,t stay more in touch with each other.My love for you will last forever I can only say good bye for now until we are with god Love uncle Chuck.

Jul 09, 2013
Michael Henry Edington
by: silver

Dear Brenda,I am with you in spirit.I live 2 states away and can't be there to talk with you so I guess this will have to do.Last yr I was grieving so hard for my husband I didn't let go of my grief for my mom and dad.Like you I felt so guilty.I only lived 22 miles from my mom.She had early dementia and daddy had just died.I felt I should have been there for her more,visited more,tried to get her moving and living more.I still worked part time when she died in 2010.I was also taking care of a sick husband.(He was having chemo treatments)My mother went to the bathroom and just fell on the floor dead.My niece,2 of her brothers and my youngest son was with her---but not me.I still occasionally feel that I should have done more for her.Been there more for her.It's hard to let go of those feelings but I'm beginning to see the bigger picture.She has been gone now for 3 yrs and I am coming to grips with the fact that I was working,taking my husband to dr appts and chemo treatments as well as dealing with the grief of my dad's death a few months previous.Also my best friend of 28 yrs died the month before my mom.I have learned that sometimes when you have so much on your plate you feel guilt for not taking the time for each item in full instead of realizing that you can't hold all items at the same time.It's been a hard road but I am beginning to move along.Take care of yourself and Thank God that he took your love quietly and without pain.That's the way my husband went and it helped after the initial grief passed.That's what I hold onto...He is no longer in pain.He is in Heaven with GOD and is in a state of pure joy and love.I know we will see them again one day.GOD send you strength and peace.I will keep you in my prayers

Jul 09, 2013
Michael Henry Edington- July 10, 1958/June5, 2013
by: Doreen U.K.

Brenda it is normal to feel guilt with grief. But if you break it down, Michael was not alone. He had dinner with his Mom the night before. Michael knew you were in hospital and couldn't be with him, but would be there if things were different. I guess Michael would have gone to sleep and just never woke up. Often when one is ill they want their space and can feel crowded if someone is with them which is why you describe Michael as keeping his illness to himself. He only shared his concerns with his mom as one does because a mom is a nurturer and brought him up. Michael didn't want to worry you so he kept his feelings hidden. He wouldn't have been alone because I do believe that is when God is with us more closely when he perhaps sends his angels to carry that person home. But I am not dismissive of how you feel guilty not being with him. I would feel the same way. But we often have to find a way to live with our guilt feelings and work them out so we don't let guilt limit our life and prevent us from moving forward. It just may take time. I am sorry for your loss of Michael.

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