I'm 44. My Dad was diagnosed suddenly with stage 4 lung and 5 mets in his brain on February 13.
I was his primary carer and he never complained. He did well with treatment and care yet in his last 10 days of life I believe he 'switched' himself off. He was very clinical in his thinking as he was an Associate Professor of Biochemistry at a leading University.
Both he and Mum are only Children and my only sibling (brother) lives a 20 hour flight away.
Mum doesn't drive nor could Dad. It was me. We lost him peacefully on July 12 this year. He spent just 3 nights in palliative care - Mum and I supported and loved him all the way through until we could do it no more.
Since then I have had counseling from an amazing psychologist yet my anxiety levels and wanting to hide from the world has been bizarre. I avoid people, want to be on my own. I have gained weight (15kg) this year and have drunk too much alcohol to numb the pain.
Is this normal? The lack of motivation, the numbness, the wanting to hide from the world....my adrenals are exhausted and I now have to support Mum. She is doing ok yet December was a tough month with her birthday and Christmas and NYE.
I want to not drink as I never did for forty something years and need to regain my fitness and lose weight I gained this year...any suggestions to find that spark to make 2014 a time of readjustment would be appreciated.
Thank you so much for reading,
Love and light,