Mind their own business

by Donna

I went into the store that I have worked at for the last seven years and quit. I told my manager that I just am not physically or emotionally ready to come back to work yet. I was always the outgoing do anything person, I'm just not that person anymore. I know that if someone, anyone was to say the wrong thing or something that I may take the wrong way I would just walk out and come back the next day and quit.

I wish people would just mind their own business and leave me alone. This time of the year also makes it really hard to go back with all the holiday pleasantries. I can't and don't want to put on that smile (it would be fake).

My manager told me that someone told him that you can't just sit around and wait for everything to be ok. You have to go out there and make it ok. Again, I wish they would mind their own business. This may be true, but I believe that the first day that goes by and I break down only three or four times, then I might be able to go back to work. Its not like I don't have anything to do workwise, I am a personal attendant for my disabled daughter.

Maybe in time when I need the extra income I will be able to go back out into the world among people and work. But for now I need to grieve the loss of my wonderful husband, my soulmate, for how ever long it takes. I know it won't be forever, I promised Bryan that before he passed.

People that haven't walked in my (our, widows/widowers) shoes just can't keep their opinions to themselves, I don't need their advice on how I am supposed to live my life, I just wish they would mind their own damn business.

Comments for Mind their own business

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Dec 14, 2010
mind their own business
by: jules

Donna I don't know if quitting your job was the right thing or not - and that doesn't matter, what matters is that you felt right about it - you will survive, you are taking steps in the right direction. Knowing that you are not the same person is something we all have to face up to - we can't be that person again, everything has changed - you have your daughter, that is still the same, but in all other ways your life is different - sometimes we need to make things change to start the process of getting better - do what you have to do for you.

one breath, one step
take care

Dec 14, 2010
embarressed by the fogginess of grief.

I too was pretty happy go lucky before this all happened. I have heard "Life goes on" and it continues to...frustrate me. I am better after a year but far from my former self.

I have a real problem concentrating still. And yes with all the merriment going on this time of year it worsens. The grief kicks in as if no progress has been made at all.

I feel that I am one step away from losing my job because I have become inept or feel as if I cannot do anything right. This most certainly is not my former self.

You do what you have to do to make yourself o.k and that takes time. People say some ridiculous things trying to be helpful. Unless they have personally dealt with the death of someone that they loved, that was their whole world, they will not understand it.

Your priority is raising your daughter and taking care of your grief. It is hard not to tell people off, they know not what they say.

Dec 14, 2010
You must be Strong
by: Judith

Donna, I wish you had not quit your job as they are hard to find again. Please don't let others control your life. Just tell them while you appreciate their concerns you will do what you have to in order to come to terms with your loss. I have told a few people that very thing. You take control.

It's never about you and them. It's between you and God.

Try to remember to take baby steps one day at a time. But making any decision of serious nature has to be put off for a year.

You and your precious daughter will be fine in time because God will see to it.

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