miss M

by Tasmeeka Maharaj
(south africa)

It takes a minute to say hello but forever to say goodbye...why is that?

My nephew was only 3 and a half years old when he passed,I know to most people a nephew is just that,a nephew,but not to me,my nephew was my son,his death shocked me even more because he was perfectly fine and within a few hours he picked up a fever then a convulsion had a heart attack and became stem cell dead,stem cell dead is like being brain dead but worse,your stem cell is the only thing in your body that can never be replaced or regrown,10 days after he became stem cell dead he passed,when I think about what happen I become numb and want to throw up and don't know what to do,the day he passed I felt my soul went with him but my body stayed back on earth,he truly was an angel,he was the most polite,caring and understanding child I had ever met,when I look at his cot and see that its empty it makes me more sad to know that it will never be filled again,people say with time wounds heel,though I feel with time the wounds just get deeper,each day without baby is more and more challenging,the pain I feel can never be explained,ever since he passed life has never been the same,no matter what I do to try feel better it never helps,each person grieves in their own way,I wish there was a rule whereby no parent should ever have to bury their child,it isn't right,your baby should never die before you.
People always say be strong,don't cry,if you need anything let me know,I'm sorry how can I help you feel better

All those lines said by people are so useless,all those things said by people are always always easier said than done...



R.I.P baby Avthaar
2009-2012

Comments for miss M

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Aug 15, 2014
rip avthaar
by: mr M

i know how lost we all feel at times. its best to talk about him, and let him still be a part of our family. Families stand together and you know this. Our boy was born against all odds, travelled the world like few have, touched everyones lives, and left with a bang. The joy he gave us , lets appreciate it.Lets live our lives with those few precious years, in our memory. He was special, thats why he was born into our family. According to our scriptures, we must embrace death. Do you think we could have lived our lives if he survived and became a cabbage. I think not. I thank GOD for having mercy on my family, and allowing my grandson to join HIM.Lets be thankful for what we have. GOD has shown mercy and we now have another grandson...Avihaan.Lets enjoy him too.

Mar 05, 2014
Miss M
by: Doreen UK

Tasmeeka I am sorry for your loss of your nephew. It is cruel and sad when a child dies. I had a nephew aged 30yrs who suffered from depression and threw himself in front of an express train and our lives will never be the same again. My nephew was like a son.
The way you express your pain of grief is as bad as we all describe at times on this site. I do believe the pain of loss is the same pain we all go through only with different intensity and experience which is why we understand. It is an unbearable pain like nothing I have ever felt before. It has no words to describe this pain. It hurts so bad that I have often described it as if I had been in an explosion and in pieces and I needed to be put back together again. Another feeling as if I am slowly hemoraging deep down to my core. But different for everyone.
I lost my husband to cancer 22 months ago and I have only coped by TAKING ONE DAY AT A TIME. This is the only way to get through our day. Crying and expressing grief is the only way we all heal from our sorrow and loss. I go to God who is my strength and only Hope to get through each day. People will always offer words that don't help us but I just dismiss them because they don't know any better because they have never experienced this loss otherwise they would understand. We can tell when people offer words that heal and help us because they are talking out of experience. But occasionally someone can cause us emotional pain by saying the wrong thing. Especially when they think we should be done with grief and just get over it. THIS IS HURTFUL. Adds to our pain. Time is all we have and it will take many years for any of us to feel healing from our loss and to recover from grief.

Mar 05, 2014
losing a child
by: Anonymous

Yes losing a child is the worst. And people mean well when they say things, but we who have lost, only want that child back. I too have lost a child, and its still too hard to believe. But I know that when I meet with people who have lost a child, I can truly empathize with them. We know their grief. And perhaps, we know better what words will help. Although, I know words, no matter what they are, don't truly help. We are just lost without them in our lives.

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