miss my dad so much
by amanda webber
(augusta me usa)
On april 17 2014 was a day ill never forget. I was at work. It was around 3pm and I went in to check my phone when I saw two miss calls.( My dad had moved out of state 14 years ago with my step mother. He was battling his own demons. So he had been out of touch . ) They were from my step mom and step sister. I thought that it was strange that they were calling. So I hesitated calling back. But I did and it was the worst return call ever.
My step mother had told me my father had passed away that morning. I fell to the grown and sobing uncontrollably. I couldn't speak it felt like the wind got knocked out of me. Once I came out of whatever I was in I said how what why..... He had issues with alcohol and she had kicked him out and he was in a hotel. Who puts a man with alochol issues in a hotel with no help .
He had a heart attack and she then told me that he had been gone 3 days before someone found him. Thats right he was alone. He was detoxing for alochol alone with no help and suffered a heart attack that took his life.
I know don't blame his wife. But I can't help it. He was trying to get better and instead of helping him he ended up lossing his life.
Knowing he was trying to get better and nobody was there to help him and support him makes the loss of my dad so much harder. Knowing he was alone wheb he took his last breath makes me hurt so very much.
How do I forgive? When does it get easier?
I miss my dad terribly.