Miss you so much darling

by JIM

Ann passed away sept 25th 2011. On the 5th july 2010 our weddiing aniversary we were told the bad news my wife had ovarian cancer.Ann had chemo and an operation more chemo and another operation and we were told her cancer had gone.After only a few months she was in and out of hospital with lots of pain and they said there was nothing more they could do.Ann was at home on morphine all through the day and night and she kept asking the doctors and nurses if they could turn off the light as she felt so bad. Ann went into a hospice and was there for 3 weeks and i stayed there with her and they could not control her pain.It was a relief for her as she suffered so much but as for me my life will never be the same again.We were married for 37 years and she was my one and only love.I still go to work i am 63 i kiss her picture on the wall when i leave in the morning and when i return at night.I cook my dinner and i sit down and tell her what i have got but it isnt as nice as what she used to cook I have 2 lovely daughters who are loving and caring and seem to be doing ok but i know as i am they are struggling too Nights are the worst and i miss our kisses and cuddles and the silence.I have been on this sight many times and have found it is helping me i have told my daughters i come on here but they have there familys so are not on there own. I go out with friends on a saturday night as we used to for many years but now there is only 3 of us and not 4.I go to see them once a week for coffee and a chat and they have been very helpful she also has lost a very good friend.I would like to thank all who write on this site for there comments that have helped me.I dont like my life at the momrment but it is made better by my children and grandchildren.

Comments for Miss you so much darling

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Jul 21, 2012
Doreen uk
by: Jim Northamptonshire

Thankyou Doreen for your comment. Isuppose i am doing ok but life is tough.It is 1 00am and i am on this site reading about all the others who have joined us.I went out tonight and sat alone looking at all the couples together. I came home to an empty house with only the radio to break the silence.Im sorry that you are not in touch with your children that must be very hard for you Its been ten months for me now I didnt mention before Ann had a stoma operation and she hated it,she didnt like changing it and i had to help her everytime which i didnt mind at all.I would give anything to have another chat and a cuddle with her but know that will never happen.Life goes on for us but the thought of possibly another 15 to 20 years without my Ann seems unbearable. My thoughts and prayers are for everyone going through this nightmare.

Jul 14, 2012
I know exactly how you feel, Steve
by: anthony

my beloved Hunnie Bunnie Constance went home to Jesus on 19 March 2012 after battling a relapse lung cancer for 8 months - we have no children and every evening I come home and cook a simple meal - about the same thing as always, and eat it alone, talking to her about the day and wishing she were still here with me. Oh how I miss her. Like you I kiss her picture and her urn daily when I leave and come back. I am only waiting for the day I can be reunited with her on the other side. I ask her daily to ask Jesus ( and I also ask Jesus myself) to be kind and allow me to return home soon - she has come in a dream to reassure me that it will happen when my work is done - I hope that is soon.

Jul 09, 2012
Miss you so much darling
by: Doreen U.K.

Hello Jim. I am sorry for the loss of your dear beloved wife from cancer. My husband died of lung cancer 8 weeks ago. I nursed my husband for the whole 3yrs.39days of his cancer. Steve suffered a very painfull death as he was in severe pain and he too did not have his pain care managed very well. This was down to funding. Steve died at home where he wanted to in his own home. Steve worked with asbestos. This is how he got his cancer. I used to live in Northamptonshire in 1978-1983. Nice part of the country.
Jim you wrote a lovely post. I am just so sorry that you won't get to spend any of your retirement with your late wife. Steve had 2 years to retire when he got his cancer and it was downhill after that. Steve put 40 years into building up his pension and now the government has taken half of it back. I will have a struggle as you know how things have changed in the U.K. You sound like you are coping. I know what you mean by being helped on this grief website. I would be feeling worse had I not found this support. Like you I find the nights and mornings the worst. Upon waking it hits me Steve is not here. I should imagine that being at work helps you cope. It is when you come home that you feel the lonliness and emptiness of not having your wife at home. I wish you all the best in the days and months ahead.

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