Oh Baby, why did you leave me? I wasn’t ready. I think you were. You started getting sicker, but didn’t tell me for a long time. You wanted our vacations and fun times. But you told me you were tired of living the way you had to live. Being tired, and more tired. Sad. Couldn’t do the things you used to do. You said, if this is going to have to be my life, I don’t know that I want it. I refused to believe that. I thought you’d feel better with surgery, new medicines, and rest.
You didn’t even call to tell me how sick you were that the day you left me. I was driving home from work making big plans for us in my head and couldn’t wait to get home and talk with you about them. But I walked in the door that day and knew when you didn’t answer me that you had crossed the Jordan. I laid there on the floor with you, asking you to come back. But you couldn’t. You were gone. You were free of your pain and my pain began. My husband, my only friend. We did everything together. I’m so lost and so sad. The days turn into weeks, the weeks turn into months. I am so lonely. I just want to talk with you.
All those times you told me that I had to learn things, because you wouldn’t always be around to do them. I didn’t listen. Didn’t want to believe it. Now, it’s happened. I have learned to do some things. I ’m trying to make you proud. To know that there were times I did listen to what you were saying.
I don’t have the girlfriends you told me I should have. I always had you. I wasn’t ready. And I cry. I cry a lot. I miss you.
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