Missing Dad, eighteen months on

by Julia

It is more than a year and a half since my beloved father died very suddenly. He suffered from a very rare instance of throat swelling, which blocked his airways. He was 66 years old.

Dad was the rock of our family. Always calm and happy, taking pleasure in so many things and not worrying about the small stuff. He pulled everyone together.

He always had heaps of time for my sister and I when we were young, and became a close and special friend as I grew up.

Whilst I dealt with the grief relatively well (what does that even mean?!) early on, I find that I am running out of steam now.

I have been doing my best to support my mum, but all of a sudden I am so angry about how this has happened, and that in some ways I have prioritized her needs over mine. I also feel let down by my friends, who have no idea what I am going through.

I had though that this year would be easier, but I guess that there's no simple off-switch and I will have to keep working through this grief and pain for the foreseeable future.

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