Missing Gary-the love of my life

by Sharon
(Arizona)


It was a typical Wednesday. We live in the desert and the temps were around the 100 degree mark. Gary was upstairs in our bedroom/office surfing the web and I was downstairs playing my Facebook games. I yelled to Gary that I was going to take a nap. He yelled down that he needed to go to the hospital he was having chest pains and just took a nitroglycerin tablet. I ran upstairs to get some clothes on and he went downstairs, got into the passenger side of my car and had the car running when I came out. We are about 30 miles from the hospital. While I was driving, Gary was calling 911. The dispatcher told us to go to the fire station which was about 8 miles away. When we got to there the place was deserted. Gary had opened the car door and started throwing up. Two pick up trucks pulled up and one of the men told us he called the ambulance and it was on its way. It would be about 30 minutes. We left and I drove 95 mph on the interstate with lights flashing and drove through red lights to get Gary to the emergency room. I got him to the hospital at 5:00 pm. They wheeled him away while I parked the car. They pronounced him dead at 5:26 pm.

It's been exactly 2 weeks.

Comments for Missing Gary-the love of my life

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Aug 16, 2011
I know how you feel
by: KarenSue

I do know how you feel, it has been 16 months for me, I'm also in Az. My husband was the love of my life and would give any thing and every thing to have just a few more mins with Eugene. I'm sorry for your lost.

Jul 26, 2011
missing David
by: Theresa

my husband David had a massive heart attack at age 50 in his sleep. I tried to revive him but they told me that there was no use. after the ENT's worked on him all the way to the hospital.
I lost my husband Dec. 29, 2010 and his mother 2 weeks later. yesterday i was informed that my brother walked in on a home burglary and was murdered. I am trying to cope but I have a 5 year old and its so hard too stay upbeat for him. good intentioned people keep saying the rudest things trying to help. time heals, you will move on with someone else. Sometimes I want to scream at them. my life was planned out and when my husband died so did my hopes and dreams. if i have a good day i feel like its betraying him. I have always been the strong one but now I just feel helpless.

Jul 19, 2011
Thank you
by: Sharon

I am so sorry that we all had to meet like this. I really appreciate this site- for the support it gives. Gary died June 29th. I have no more guests visiting as of yesterday.

My brother-in-law who lives a block away told me (July 11th) that he and his mother were going back to Florida as soon as he sold his place. The sale was in the works. He told me that he had been thinking about it for quite a while (going back.) I'm sure the conversation went something like "Mom won't leave as long as Gary is here" and as soon as Gary passed he started making arrangements. He was on the phone constantly and I thought he was calling relatives to let them know about the memorial. He was calling his kids in Florida making arrangements.

I live out in the middle of nowhere in the Arizona desert. I'm all alone except for my 3 dogs and 1 cat. I have no place to go except this site for comfort.

Jul 17, 2011
Ilyas, I will love you forever!!
by: Anonymous

I, too, lost the love of my life for 27 years to a "cardiac arrest" exactly 9 months ago tonight. My husband had his cardiac arrest at home and I gave him CPR and then he was revived and taken to ICU in Lancaster CA. I felt his last heart beat when I was giving him CPR and I know his soul and spirit left that night with him in my arms but his body did not give up until Tues afternoon at the hospital. How do you go on?? Great question. I am still trying to figure that out. Ilyas made my world complete whenever he entered the room and I saw his face. We did everything together because we wanted to. We had fun. Living life with him was a wonderful journey! He was definitely my soul mate. I will always love him and will never find another man to love like I loved Ilyas. It is impossible. I will see you in heaven sweetheart.

Jul 15, 2011
love of my life
by: Anonymous

My husband Russell was the love of my life. he went to work on thursday they called from the mines to tell me he was having chest pains and going to the dr around 6 am he didnt even make it to the hospital I didn't even get to say goodbye he also had a heart attack with no history of problems before if I just would have know how do you go on without him it would have been 34 year of marriage to the love of my life 2 weeks after his death. we were planning a roadtrip then how do you go on without them I am a emotion reck

Jul 14, 2011
Missing Your Love
by: Judith in California

Sharon, what an awful ordeal . We who had to watch our loves pass are traumatized for a long time after seeing it. It's hard enough they pass but to have an image of how one passed forever etched in our heads is rough. I too watched as my husband passed 14 months ago today and the image is still so clear. While glad to have been there for him until the end and laying beside his body and holding him, telling him I loved him for 3 hours until Neptune Society came to pick him up was hard when I look back on it.

You didn't mention how long ago Gary passed but It doesn't matter it's still heartbreaking.

I wish you peace. Take care.

Jul 14, 2011
It will be 1 year - me too
by: M Mack

Sharon,

I was at work when the love of my life passed away and have so much regret over this. He needed me and I never knew he was so sick. My God only knows why and what happened that day, his last hours. I miss him more than anything in life and can't wait to be with him in eternity. Only 2 weeks into grief, you can expect many more emotions taking you up and down without warning. My heart is broken for all of us who are the survivor of a loved one. It's good that you found this site, it will help knowing you are not alone and many are here for support. Take it slow, take care of you and remember our motto - one breath, one step, one day at a time and you will get through. Sending prayers and hugs.

Jul 13, 2011
Missing Joe....the love of my life
by: TrishJ

I woke up on that Friday morning thinking it was business as usual. My husband had a restless night but we were so used to him being at death's door and being brought back to us. He was so strong. This particular Friday was different. By 10:30 that evening he was gone. It's been over 7 months and I still wake up most mornings in disbelief. My husband of 37 years gone? It can't be.
It's been a rough ride so far. A few good days followed by tears....tears and more tears. I should be dehydrated from all the crying.
I know he's at peace but it doesn't help me with the horrendous loneliness. I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm tired, I have lots of energy, I'm happy, I'm sad. I really don't know what I am. I wake up in the morning feeling like it just might be a good day then something reminds me of him and I'm done for the day.
It's a long tedious process. They call it a roller coaster ride. That's exactly what it feels like. I never liked roller coasters and I really don't like this ride.
This site has taught me to take things one day at a time. If you think too far into the future it's overwhelming.
There are a lot of wonderful caring people here who are all going through the same thing. Come here and pour your heart out. We all understand.
Blessings to you.

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