missing mom

It has been almost 7 months since mom passed away. It was a shock! We knew she was ill but not at deaths door. She was an awesome lady! I have lived several states away for the last 5 years and did not get to see her often but spoke several times a day on the phone. She was my friend and we had a very close bond. I'm so glad she lived next door to my sister because my dad has been gone for 5 years now and it was good to know that she didn't have to be afraid. I feel like my oldest sister is the last bond to my mother that I have. I am the youngest. I hate it that I can't even go to the cemetary! I'm angry at my husband for moving us so far away that I couldn't go often to visit! I feel like he robbed me and I know I shouldn't feel that way and I feel guilty for feeling that way. I wish I could have been closer to help with the caretaking and spend more time with her. My mom always understood though, she was just that way. She always gave the best advice. I am only 39 and feel quite young to have no parents or grandparents. I know there are people out there younger than I who have lost both of their parents.I don't mean to whine. Just wanted to let this out. Has anyone else ever felt this way?

Comments for missing mom

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May 17, 2011
I know how you feel!
by: Ilana

I'm just past a year since my mother died and I still can't get over it! I am in the process of moving on with my life, but some days, I just want to stay in bed and cry. It's taken me lots of counseling to get myself in a good place. I was told not to rush myself as grief has no time limit. That's my advice to you!

May 02, 2011
Feel your loss
by: Snowbell

My deepest sympathies to you on the recent loss of your beloved Mother. I ,too, lost my Mother just about 8 months ago and I wish for both of us, that the pain would subside. Anger is a perfectly common reaction so I would not feel guilty for those feelings. I am trying to get past the anger too I feel when friends and distant family members seem just fine and offer me little to no help when I tell that I am still having a very difficult time. Where do we turn for help? We?re always there for our friends, as I too live many miles from where my Mother lived, and thought that some help would still continue after several months, but no, nothing. What more do we have to say to these people to get some help or sympathy? I guess this blog will have to help us in helping each other as we do know the pain and loss others are feeling. There is no shame in simply asking for help, an ear, or a shoulder on which to cry, so I?ll check back in on everyone and hope that we are all making baby steps in our grief and ongoing recovery.

Apr 30, 2011
Mom's Are Wonderful
by: TrishJ

As my own mother sinks deeper into dementia I have to look at old photo albums to remember the woman she was. I had the best mother in the world. Although she is still here in body she really hasn't been herself for almost a year now. As a nurse, I realize it's going to get worse. I miss her now.
Mother and daughter relationships are so special. My own daughter and I are very close. We talk on the phone each day. Having just lost her dad last December she said, "Mom I hope I don't have to go to your funeral for another 30 years or so." I'll try but it's awfully lonesome with my husband here.
My nephew visited us from California for Easter. We lost his dad (my brother) 24 years ago, when he was only 3 1/2. His mom passed away last June. He's 28 and has lost both parents. He has me. I love him like one of my own but it's not the same. I know he misses his mother. He moved to California 1 month after her death to get away from all the memories.
You're not whining. You miss your mom. Please don't feel guilty and don't be angry at your husband. In today's economy people are lucky to have a job wherever it may take you. Your mom understood. She would want you to be happy and move on with our life. Make her proud.
I hope you find some peace and joy in your day.

Apr 30, 2011
missing mom too
by: Yacov

I just lost my mom this past Thursday. I'm still in the Shiva period (7 days of intense morning) I am incredibly sad, but not angry or guilty feeling. I am the first of 9 siblings and its interesting to see how each one of us is processing this tremendous loss. We brought her home to die. Hospice care was incredibly compassionate and respectful of my moms wishes. it took her 2 full days to expire. there was a lot of singing and waiting and crying and waiting and singing (she loved it when we sang). But still she went when her body finally shut down. no hocus pocus or superstition or projections attached to it. The cycle of life and death. Sad and painful, but inevitable and normal. I miss Mommy. I suppose that will lessen with time. maybe not. She did the best she could for me, though it wasn't enough for me. We loved each other. She always listened and I feel like she was always trying to evolve, to be a better person, to learn more. She listened to me yell at her and my father many times, as i blamed them for my pain and suffering for which they are partially responsible. She always engaged in the conversation. She never shut me up or told me to stop. She listened. I hope I can incorporate that attribute in my life with my own children.

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